When I became a mom, I quickly realized I would do ANYTHING for these kids. I want to give them all the best, always. Not in a spoil them, Veruca Salt, sort of way, but in a -I would walk to Mordor for you- kind of way. And, like so many parents out there, holidays or birthdays approach, and I get excited to give them something really special. To see their faces light up, to watch their imaginations grow. But, I can never help thinking, that the greatest gift I can give my kids, really, is a healthy planet for their future and for their kids. I know that sounds corny as all heckarooni when I say it, but I believe it deep down in my core. And while I’m not going to sit my kids down on their birthdays and tell them that their gift is that we didn’t get them anything that would add to the crisis of overconsumption and instead Mama sat down and wrote this post in the small hopes it would make a difference, I still think that we can keep things in perspective. Maybe cut down on the over gifting. Be conscious about what products we’re buying and what their company’s practices are and which local shop we’d like to support, even if it means paying a little bit more. Or even making our own gifts. Maybe we can also realize that for a lot of people, gifts aren’t necessarily brown paper packages tied up with strings, but instead might be a special outing or spending time together. I want to give my kids a healthy, sustainable planet for their future, and so with every celebration, every gift, every birthday party, I keep that at the forefront of my mind. And then all I can do is my best.
Category: Thoughts/Questions
Healthy Body, Healthy Planet
I had this thought several months back, that in order to have a healthy planet, we, ourselves, must be healthy. Kind of a no-brainer, right? But it felt like a real Aha! moment for me, so bear with me. We are part of this amazing, beautiful planet, just as trees are or oceans or animals. So, if one of our goals is a healthier planet, then that includes us. I can’t be talking about helping the planet and have my own self be an unhealthy mess, whether physically or emotionally or mentally. And, the more this really sunk in for me, the more I realized how quickly the connection of healthier lifestyles would actually help with a healthier planet—not just in this microcosm sense of it all, which is important too, but also on a larger scale.
A healthier person is going to be eating fresher, healthier foods, which means less food packaging, less eating out, less pesticides. Healthier people require less medical care, which is easily less negative environmental impact. Healthier people’s moods are usually better, meaning they’re probably offering more kindness, helping out more, able to think more clearly, which leads to better voting decisions, better personal choices, more conscious decisions, etc. A healthier person probably spends more time in nature and less in front of a device, so with an added appreciation for nature, because they’re out enjoying it, they probably have more respect for it, whether consciously or not and will treat it better. Anyway, I’m sure the list of connections could go on and on, but I just felt it was an interesting thought and wanted to share it here.
Thoughts-Reducing and Reusing
Vote with Your Wallet
Sometimes (ok, often) I feel like a bit of an outsider. I don’t always think the same way as a large majority of people. I don’t like or support many of the places or companies that are part of other people’s day-to-day, so I’m really a bit unsure going into this post…
I’ve been reflecting on what kind of world I want, and I’m wondering how much that matches with the majority of the population. Personally, I don’t want a world with big, overflowing, generic box stores filled with cheap stuff made in China. I don’t want a world where people hole up inside, while large trucks circle around with deliveries. I don’t know… Maybe a lot of people really DO want these things. But, I have a feeling that many people just get caught up in habits and convenience and sucked into the madness of our consumerist society. I don’t really think this is what most people want. And yet, every time we order something from a large online store or support Jeff frickin Bezos or buy the latest gadget at WalMart, then we are voting for that world and those things. We are saying, Yes, this is the world I want.
And, I just don’t. I’m not saying I don’t want to buy things or support companies; I just want to do my best to support the ones that show me more of the world I want to see. So, when I go into an independently-run, beautifully-decorated shop full of items carefully selected from companies with good business practices, THAT’s where I want to spend my money. Will it cost more there than at some of the evil empires? Absolutely. And this is where I often hear people step in with the Woe-Is-Me talk about how they NEED to shop at WalMart or Amazon because they just can’t afford anything else. A majority of the time though, I find these same people buying loads more stuff for “cheap” prices and spending way more than they would have spent supporting a local business and buying a select few quality items.
What I actually love about spending a little bit more for a local product or from a business with fair and conscious practices is that A) I’m supporting a place that brings me joy and, in my humble opinion, brightens our world, B) I know I’m buying a quality product that was made with good materials and will last, C) I’m cutting down on the amount of stuff I can buy and thereby decreasing clutter, D) I feel a greater respect and appreciation for something I’ve spent more money on and I know I’ll treat it better, make it last longer, mend it, if needed, etc. and Lastly, hopefully, I’m supporting a place that makes more conscious decisions for our world and its people. To me, it’s an all around win situation.
I know it’s tough. In the day-to-day craziness, when “needs” for items come up, heck ya, it’s easier to visit a big ol online store. But maybe, just maybe, we can start taking a breath before we buy things… Ask ourselves if we really need it. Ask ourselves if we can borrow it instead. And, most importantly, ask ourselves where we want to put our vote. The companies and businesses where we spend our money are what we will see more of. We can easily shift the direction of how businesses are run, what environmental choices they make, how they treat their employees, how well products are made, simply by spending our money at places that have these practices already in place. We’ve probably all seen examples of how our money votes change what is offered. It’s commonplace to see at least some organic food items at even the most generic grocery stores these days. That wasn’t always the case. Our money votes matter.
And right now, more than ever before, small businesses NEED you! I strongly, strongly encourage some research into local, independently-run bookshops, toy shops, gift shops, and so on. Many have done huge learning curves this year to provide online shopping or phone ordering. Many do curbside pick-up. I’ve even had some hand deliver items to my door, free of charge. This is the time to step up and support local. Buying gift certificates or future memberships is also a great way to support local businesses. And if you can’t think of somewhere in your local area, think about some of your favorite independent shops you’ve seen while traveling or from places you used to live. Many will ship. Your purchases will keep them alive for your next visit.
This is your chance to save small businesses! To support quality items. To say Yes! to fair working conditions and practices. To keep a family’s dream afloat. To create more beautiful places. Where you shop and which places you choose to support can and will make a difference in our world.
What Makes or Breaks a Children’s Book*
*I should add the very important addition–FOR ME
(I really, really try not to write any of the “This is how it is” posts on here, as I know that everyone’s opinion and life is so different. But, then again, this is my space, so there is an implied “for me” in all of this, right?)
Anyway, I wonder about this a lot–What makes or breaks a book for me? And, I wish I had a once and for all answer, but I don’t. I am very particular about which books we choose to read, and even amongst those, there are some picture books that hit all the marks and make the bestseller lists, but just don’t quite have the magic for me. And then, there are some which seem entirely too simple, which I just love and could read over and over to the kids. It really is an art.
I can definitely speak more to what breaks a children’s book for me. There are the super obvious things like being offensive or closed-minded and so on, but there are some things which I’m surprised make it into so many children’s books. Maybe I’m overthinking things, but, I really do feel that the words we read our children matter.
The word “hate”
There’s enough hate in the world to work on without slipping this word in for mundane things. There is one book we have (which I’m thinking of at the moment) that uses this word (The Grinch Who Stole Christmas). I simply read out loud as “dislike” instead.
The words “dumb” or “stupid”
Ditto to above
The “I hate broccoli or vegetables” thing
Seriously? We, as parents need to unite on feeding our children healthy foods. My kids really do delight in vegetables, and I’ve been a parent long enough to know that most of this is just pure luck, BUT… they also never heard otherwise. None of the books I read to them promote the veggie dislike and they aren’t hanging around kids who are repeating this. I understand that authors are trying to relate to kids perhaps, but can’t we make a shift there? I actually really love when books slip in a love-of-vegetable sentence without being preachy about it.
The “I dislike school” thing
Again, I understand that this is a reality for some kids. But many do actually enjoy school and learning. So, why are books adding this cheap way of trying to relate to kids while promoting the idea that school is something to dread?
The sibling dislike
This is such a standard in books, and I’m so frustrated by it. Yes, of course, I know siblings argue and aren’t always each other’s favorites. But, when the siblings are consistently referred to as “annoying” or “bossy” or other such things without redeeming moments, it really bothers me. A lot. I found myself pleasantly surprised watching “Onward” and seeing the brothers getting along for the most part and treating each other well. Why should this be such a rare thing to see in a story?
The word “fat”
When this word gets used or overused in book descriptions, it really bothers me. It’s not a word I want on my children’s tongues either as a descriptive word for others or for themselves. I remember being shocked one day when our daughter was little, and having not seen TV or been in any daycare-type settings, she used the word “fat.” And then I realized it IS used in one of our favorite picture books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. And, I feel ok with its use in this book. So, yes, I know there are always exceptions, but for the most part, it is not an adjective I like to see in children’s books.
Put-Downs
Putting down others in books seems to be dwindling. Even the “mean” characters often get a backstory in many of our books and others don’t return the meanness. Obviously putting down others would be on my dislike list. But, something I do still see on occasion is the self put-downs. I know it’s going to crop up here and there for a character to have doubts and go through a self-discovery, but I’ve had to put several books back into the library bag before sharing with the kids because the self talk was so negative.
The “I’m too old for this”
As homeschoolers, my kids have, what I consider, an advantage in that they can keep their childhoods a little longer. Nobody on the playground or on mainstream TV is dictating what they “should” or “shouldn’t” be playing with at certain ages. My daughter LOVES all her dolls, and she will probably continue to have them as part of her everyday play past when most kids her age would. So, it hurts my heart when books sneak in passages about their characters being “too old” for something. Everyone is on their own timeline, and if this modern age has taught us anything, it’s that holding onto what we love dearest can still work to our “benefit” with all these independent sources of making money through YouTube channels and social media platforms. I know at some point, you just have to hope/know your kid has enough gumption to keep what they hold dear, but the influence of other kids, TV, and, apparently, some books really tries to get people to conform to some made-up idea of what’s “normal” and “acceptable.”
The sellouts
The other kind of books I cringe at, and we rarely see in our home are the sellouts. The ones just written because they know it’ll sell. These are usually cartoon characters or toys. Like anything, there are exceptions to this too, when the kids love a character and I’d much rather we read a book. But I do try to be very, very particular when going into this territory. Sometimes it really is just a picture book that tries hitting all the marks but has no soul to it, even if there is one trying to be faked.
I appreciate the work and time all authors and illustrators and publishers put into books, and so I really don’t mean any of my dislikes as a put-down. But, I do think it’s time to shift away from some of these dated, cheap ways of trying to relate to kids. Give kids and families a little more credit. I think there can be a balance between writing relatable characters, while also recognizing the influence the words and actions of these stories can have over children. And, I realize that makes it sound like I want some preachy, do-gooder books, which is not what I’m trying to say. I just think there’s a way to be real and entertaining and to influence positive change.