This Changes Everything

Posted on October 5, 2022January 31, 2023 by keepinthesunlightblog@gmail.com

This Changes Everything (2019)

During our month with Netflix, I’ve tried to be more focused about watching things from our list. I came across This Changes Everything and thought I’d just preview it for a few minutes to get a feel for it and then move on to something else for the evening. Well, an hour and a half later…

I really liked this film and think it is such an important one for people to see. This documentary discusses the underrepresentation and inequality faced by women in Hollywood. I think it’s important to note though, that the focus is on women. The stats, the interviews, the stories are about women in Hollywood. Looking at the low percentages of women writers or directors or female leads, I can only imagine how much smaller (to non-existent) that number is for people of color, transgender people, non-binary people, and so many more. And while this discrimination is obviously equally important to explore, This Changes Everything‘s focus is women. There were many criticisms I read about this in reviews, but I personally think it was important for the documentary to keep a focus. It would be like saying this film should have explored discrimination faced by women in all fields. The topic is women in Hollywood. Ok, moving on.

This Changes Everything was a big wake-up call for me. Even as it began, I seriously thought, ‘Oh, well, maybe this used to be the case, but certainly not now.’ But as more and more women shared their stories and statistics were given, I was shocked. I guess I didn’t fully realize things like why a big deal was made of Gerwig’s Little Women being directed, written, and produced by women. I don’t tend to watch a ton of movies and I can be a bit particular in what I choose to spend my time watching, so I’m not always ‘in the know.’ But, I think these low numbers would probably surprise most everyone. It’s interesting because I feel like the book world has made huge strides recently in representation. I can find everything from picture books to YA to adult about so many people’s stories. But, oddly, in the ‘open-minded’ Hollywood, this isn’t the case. And, as much as I far prefer and adore books, let’s be realistic – The average person is way more likely to experience story on the screen than in a book.

I can understand and appreciate that big change doesn’t happen overnight. So, seeing responses like these in this link of Hollywood women speaking up might seem awesome, but looong overdue. But I get it. It’s a process. Still, I was very surprised by the inequality that’s been happening in Hollywood this long. And when audiences continue to hear or see a story from a white, male perspective then that is what we think is the norm. I really loved Shannon Hale’s post about Do Boys Only Get to Read Half the Books? but it seems that female authors get more opportunities to storytell than females in Hollywood. It was interesting to think of that from the TV/movie perspective where the women’s perspective isn’t as readily an option. I heard several times in the documentary that studios weren’t sure if they were willing to risk telling a woman’s story for fear of losing half their audience. Seriously? So, much like Hale talks about, women are just expected to watch a male’s view, but men can’t do the same for women? (Or seriously, like I said, fill in the blank of any minority group.). Do we think so little of men?

And yet, another huge issue of (certain) men being at the helm of these productions has been the gross sexism and appalling behavior that women have had to deal with. Isn’t it fortunate for this male-centric bubble that the young female actors they most desperately want for these parts are also the ones trying so hard to navigate this new show-business world and become a success that they are more likely to put up with such bull crap? I loved one quote from the documentary – “Progress will happen when men stand. It’s the chivalry of the 21st century.” Although I don’t know much about FX, I loved seeing the male head of this channel really take it to heart that women and minorities were being so under-represented on the network. He did something about it. And, when big change and lots of change needs to happen, we really do need the help and support of people ‘on the inside.’ Much like the groups of men in the early 19th century whose votes would decide the fate of women’s suffrage. And to create change, we also need women to come together in community. So many of these male-centric stories have shown women pitted against one another in competition and that has influenced our culture. Even interviews will try to perpetuate this and keep women separate. We don’t all need to be BFFs, but women need to support each other and stand up for one another. Divided, alone, and silent is when we fall. We are stronger together.

And is this gender imbalance in production the same reason our cartoons have been so lopsided for so many years? Makes sense, I guess, if men are the ones writing and producing them. I remember when I was teaching elementary school, I used to do an exercise where I had the students think of a male cartoon character. Preferably a human-looking one for the sake of the exercise. What did he look like? What was he wearing? What were his hobbies? What did he spend his time talking about? And then, I asked them to do the same with a female character. Now, I know things have changed since I did this. I know they have. But, is it as balanced now as I’m assuming? At the time I was doing this with students, Tinker Bell had a huge comeback. This jealous, mean fairy from 1950s Peter Pan who wears very little clothing and spends a good amount of time pouting or playing mean tricks on the only other female? Yeah, her. (Link that is hilarious but rated-R) That is not a role model for young girls or an appropriate view of the female for any audience members. Characters like Tinker Bell are one of the reasons my children have not seen any of the classic Disney films. And, actually, it was the imbalance of females in cartoon movies that led Geena Davis (producer of This Changes Everything) to start her Institute on Gender in Media in the first place.

So, yes. We’ve had too many moments of “This Changes Everything!” in this and so many other aspects of the way our world is. But like that 100th monkey, I just have to believe that all these steps, whether small comebacks in an interview or large movements like MeToo and TimesUp, these will make a difference. And even though Hollywood, and specifically women in Hollywood, is one, just one, piece of a much, much bigger problem, every change helps. And whether we agree with it or not, people do look to movies, TV, and celebrities as guides from a young age and into adulthood. Seeing women’s stories, hearing women stand up for themselves, watching women finally be recognized for their talents and hard work, and not just the dresses they wear to the awards shows, these things all make a difference in how we all view ourselves and those in our lives. These people in Hollywood – actors, directors, writers, producers, interviewers, critics – they have great power and responsibility to create change.

1-minute video-Ask Better Questions
Tina Fey Talks About Hiring Women Comedy Writers

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Women, Weight, and Hollywood Delusion

Women, Weight, and Hollywood Delusion

Posted on October 2, 2022September 12, 2024 by keepinthesunlightblog@gmail.com

Can I just vent for a moment about how women’s weight is represented on television and movies? Yes, I know it’s ‘Hollywood.’ Yes, I know we’re to suspend disbelief for a lot of things that happen in TV and movies and that many of these productions are a space for their audiences to escape reality – a place where characters have funny, witty responses, where life is always interesting, and where loose ends are tied up in the time period allowed. I get that. But the way that women have been portrayed, and ARE portrayed, in these worlds has a long way to go. And dare I say, has some pretty damaging effects.

Gone are the days of TV house mothers vacuuming and cooking in their best dresses. Gone are the days of women on TV cracking jokes about how eating certain foods will go right to their thighs or hips. Nope. Somewhere along the line, it became ‘cool’ for female leads to be relaxed, eat loads of junk food, and act like strangers to exercise. Of course, all of the women playing these parts are thin and healthy, energetic and entertaining. Were we to watch an overweight, lethargic woman on TV eating pizza and dissing on health food, audiences would cringe and shake their heads in judgement. But by trying to make these women seem relatable and ‘fun,’ instead of obsessed with dieting and hitting the gym, media outlets have created even worse issues for women.

Carl’s Jr.’s degrading commercial campaign objectifying women eating hamburgers is one of the earliest instances of this obnoxious trend. If they showed women who did regularly indulge in those massive, fatty burgers, the ad campaign would have been over before it began (especially considering the stance of slimy, former executive, Andrew Pudzder). If we want women to truly embrace eating what they want and feeling secure in their bodies, then can we please show a realistic picture of what these lifestyle choices would look like? These women would be larger (aka “normal-looking”), and if they consistently ate the way many of these female TV characters ate, they’d also probably have some health consequences. I don’t mean this as a judgement – I fully support that these characters get to enjoy tasty foods -but many of these fictional females are repeatedly making unhealthy food and lifestyle choices without any sort of balance. Realistically, we’d see the effects of their long-term choices in their emotional moods, their energy levels, their bodies, and even other parts of their appearances, like their eyes or skin. (For reference, these ads, shows, movies, have spit buckets right out of view for when the director yells, “Cut!” This food is NOT being consumed by these women.)

There’s a long list of TV shows that have embraced this story plot of the gluttonous, but thin and beautiful woman. Some of them are shows I really enjoy, but the message sent is an unfortunate one. Grace Adler, the Gilmore gals, Leslie Knope, Liz Lemon, Jessica Day – I’m sure many, many others, but I have a limited knowledge of TV – These women love their takeout and junk food and sweets and it’s a big part of their characters to fully embrace this, while simultaneously being horrible at exercise and shunning the idea of eating healthy or even being able to cook a meal. Do we have to swing so far away from the stereotypical 1950s woman in the kitchen in order to reach a happy medium? Is it too uncomfortable to feature a woman who does enjoy cooking? Can we show women eating foods that keep their bodies healthy, in addition to showing them enjoy indulgences? Can these characters enjoy exercise without being overly-obsessed with it? Although I kinda get what these shows were trying to do, I cringe to see this idiotic idea that women should eat freely, not obsess about their health, and still look crazy thin.

I recently re-watched Bridget Jones’s Diary, a movie and book I love. The film starts with Bridget listing her weight as 136 and claiming that she needs to lose 20 pounds. Yes, pounds, because why list her weight in British stones when we American women can hear the utter absurdness of this number and goal and feel bad about ourselves? It’s not just that Bridget weighs a certain amount and has this strange goal for herself; the entire plot is centered around the fact that her weight makes her chubby and undesirable. For reference, her height and that weight put her exactly in the middle of a normal BMI. So, I’m sorry. But, what?! And the book is worse. She claims to be 129 “post-Christmas” and says she’s “terrifyingly sliding into obese” when she checks in later at 130. This book was written by a woman, who was also on the team of screenwriters. Umm…

Then, there’s Father of the Bride 2. Another of my favorite rom-com indulgences. Cute, predictable, comforting, and starring Steve Martin – a perfect Sunday afternoon escape. But when George Banks lists his daughter’s and wife’s 9-month weights as 128 and 132, respectively??!! It is hard for me not to type an expletive here. There were not one, but two women as screenwriters on this! These weights, with their heights puts them directly in the ‘normal’ BMI range WITHOUT being 9-months pregnant!! Depending on pre-pregnancy weight, a woman should usually be gaining 25-40 pounds in pregnancy, the higher end of that range reserved for those with low BMIs to start with. These women would have been severely underweight and unhealthy if these were their 9-month weights, which probably would have made it very difficult for the pregnancies to occur in the first place.

And just to digress a little bit here, inspired by FotB2 – Women’s pregnant bellies in movies and shows are laughingly small. I must bring up another Steve Martin movie, another favorite of mine, The Big Year. His daughter-in-law being pregnant is a small side story, but she looks rail thin when announcing she’s 4 months’ pregnant. And when she introduces (Steve) to her newborn, she’s the exact same rail thin. Any woman over the age of 20 (and who doesn’t live in Hollywood) and has had a baby, knows that you’re gonna look pregnant for some time afterwards. Weeks, months, years…whatever.

So, Huzzah to the idea that TV women should be able to enjoy food, and not just for comedic effect when they’re feeling down about a break-up or something ridiculous like that. But, for the sake of, well, everyone, regardless of gender, let’s paint a realistic picture of that. Let’s show people making healthier, balanced choices, or at least show the consequences of not doing that. Like it or not, audiences take these shows and movies into their subconscious and carry them for life. Young women may be seriously baffled by the fact that they can’t sit and eat piles of junk food, poke fun at people who use the gym, and then not look like Rory and Lorelai. Screenwriters, directors, actors, producers – whatever gender you are, stand up for this! This unrealistic picture of women is no better than the ones from the distant past. We can do much, much better.

Witches: The Transformative Power of Women Working Together

Posted on January 22, 2021February 6, 2021 by keepinthesunlightblog@gmail.com

Witches: The Transformative Power of Women Working Together (2019)
by Sam George-Allen

(This book has SOoo much to reflect on that I know this post will be a series of digressions, and, for that, I apologize in advance.)

I picked this book up in a round-about way. After reading Anna Meriano’s Love Sugar Magic series with my seven-year-old, she was all about brujas (witches). There were spells and grinding of herbs and all sorts of make-believe happening here. As I usually do in these situations, I hopped online and ordered every single witch or spell book I could find at the local library.

Many of the books we ended up with weren’t quite what I was looking for at the time, but this one by Sam George-Allen pulled me in immediately. It’s a book written for adults, but this book reaches far beyond the reader. And while I didn’t read this to my daughter (yet), it will most certainly effect how I relate with her. This isn’t a book about potions and cauldrons and brooms. As the title explains, it’s a book about women coming together. The chapters in the book cover different groups of women–everything from farmers to dancers. Trans women to nuns. Every single chapter captivated me. I often fly through books that I enjoy as much as I did this one, but I think I knew early on that George-Allen’s book was going to require some serious time and thought on my part. I can honestly say this book has contributed to a big shift in my thinking and will continue to do so.

Like the author admits in the Introduction, I, too, have held some huge misconceptions about women in the past, despite calling myself a feminist. I was very swept up with the cultural idea that women were “drama,” and I spent a good part of my young adult life priding myself on the fact that most of my good friends were guys. I poked fun at cheerleaders and sororities, or, really, any sisterhood of women.

The shift to recognizing the importance of women in my life has been a gradual one. Years ago, I worked with a wonderful group of women who spoke often of women’s groups and the power of women getting together. And still it didn’t fully sink in for me. It was really my transition into motherhood (oddly, only in that the author clearly states she doesn’t aspire to be a mother) that really connected me with other women and helped me see the value and power in female friendships. Even though not all my good friends are mothers, and while I do very much respect and value women who consciously choose that path, I know that motherhood was my initiation into the female circle. Not because it hadn’t welcomed me previously, but because I hadn’t let it.

I remember taking rare and sacred walks by myself when my first-born was a baby. As I walked, I thought about the baby I had carried and the birthing I had been through, and I knew that despite fatigue and uncertainty in this new passage of life, I was absolutely THE strongest and proudest I had ever been. I remember passing by male friends in the neighborhood and waving and smirking to myself. I was a freakin’ warrior! They would never know the deep power I knew. I was connected to generation upon generation of women who had been through the same birthing rites. Motherhood put me in circles of midwives and moms at La Leche meetings. I connected with my friends who were mothers on a deeper and richer level. And, those deep bonds carried over into my friendships with women who don’t have kids as well. My relationships with the women in my family have also seen undeniable benefits since my initiation into motherhood. My circle of women now is strong and so important to my life.

The chapter in George-Allen’s book on make-up blew my mind. Just as in my admission earlier that I used to shy away from too many friendships with women, I’ve also let myself develop some pretty whacky ideas about hair and make-up. I considered these things way too “girly” for me. (And HOW and WHY did an actual word built from the word “girl” develop a negative connotation?! I’m embarrassed I’ve used it in such a way and for so long.) This book opened up my eyes to an amazing example of the powerful feminine right in front of me–our daughter. When she was a baby, I refused to put her in pink dresses or headbands or anything that would be too “girly girl.” (There it is again!) I had read Peg Orenstein’s Cinderella Ate My Daughter book, and while I don’t remember much of the book now, I did have a great dread of our daughter going down the princess route. Reflecting on the princess culture would take me off into another long tangent, so I will just say that our girl is strong and feisty and independent… AND loves, LOVES dressing up in pretty dresses and putting on pretend make-up and fixing her hair. I’m quick to tell people she’s just as comfortable in fancy dresses as she is in a Hiccup or Woody costume, but, again, this implies that it is somehow only “okay” for her to be feminine IF she also embraces the masculine?.. Anyhow, reading the make-up chapter was a complete shift in my thinking. And it has helped me look to my seven-year-old in awe. She is an example of a true feminist. She embraces her femininity with enthusiasm and pride, while still asking questions like, “Why aren’t there more Lego women represented on this police force?” when watching YouTube, or asking questions I’d never thought to, like these ones here. I guess it’s no wonder this girl was born on International Women’s Day.

As you can see, Witches gives a lot of room for reflection. I haven’t even touched on the revelations I had while reading chapters like the ones about sex workers or nuns. Each chapter is its own beautiful, eye-opening exploration of the power of women coming together. For too long now, many women have been taught to see each other as competition or have been too busy putting one another down. Perhaps this has worked to some males’ perceived advantage to keep this isolation and rivalry going on between women. Because when women do come together? Well, magical, powerful change happens. We’re starting to see more and more of this. And, wow, does our world need it.

Healthy Body, Healthy Planet

Posted on December 17, 2020 by keepinthesunlightblog@gmail.com

I had this thought several months back, that in order to have a healthy planet, we, ourselves, must be healthy. Kind of a no-brainer, right? But it felt like a real Aha! moment for me, so bear with me. We are part of this amazing, beautiful planet, just as trees are or oceans or animals. So, if one of our goals is a healthier planet, then that includes us. I can’t be talking about helping the planet and have my own self be an unhealthy mess, whether physically or emotionally or mentally. And, the more this really sunk in for me, the more I realized how quickly the connection of healthier lifestyles would actually help with a healthier planet—not just in this microcosm sense of it all, which is important too, but also on a larger scale.

A healthier person is going to be eating fresher, healthier foods, which means less food packaging, less eating out, less pesticides. Healthier people require less medical care, which is easily less negative environmental impact. Healthier people’s moods are usually better, meaning they’re probably offering more kindness, helping out more, able to think more clearly, which leads to better voting decisions, better personal choices, more conscious decisions, etc. A healthier person probably spends more time in nature and less in front of a device, so with an added appreciation for nature, because they’re out enjoying it, they probably have more respect for it, whether consciously or not and will treat it better. Anyway, I’m sure the list of connections could go on and on, but I just felt it was an interesting thought and wanted to share it here.

Run Like a Girl!

Posted on January 13, 2020September 12, 2024 by keepinthesunlightblog@gmail.com

I’ve been listening to the KidLitWomen podcast, and it reminded me of this video commercial I had seen. I tend to miss the viral videos, but I am SO grateful to have seen this one. I cry every time. And I LOVE that this notion of “like a girl” is being revisited, rethought, and embraced as something strong and powerful.

(When my friend and I separately asked our daughters to “run like a girl,” they both responded like the young girls in the video. Huzzah!)