Witches: The Transformative Power of Women Working Together (2019)
by Sam George-Allen
(This book has SOoo much to reflect on that I know this post will be a series of digressions, and, for that, I apologize in advance.)
I picked this book up in a round-about way. After reading Anna Meriano’s Love Sugar Magic series with my seven-year-old, she was all about brujas (witches). There were spells and grinding of herbs and all sorts of make-believe happening here. As I usually do in these situations, I hopped online and ordered every single witch or spell book I could find at the local library.
Many of the books we ended up with weren’t quite what I was looking for at the time, but this one by Sam George-Allen pulled me in immediately. It’s a book written for adults, but this book reaches far beyond the reader. And while I didn’t read this to my daughter (yet), it will most certainly effect how I relate with her. This isn’t a book about potions and cauldrons and brooms. As the title explains, it’s a book about women coming together. The chapters in the book cover different groups of women–everything from farmers to dancers. Trans women to nuns. Every single chapter captivated me. I often fly through books that I enjoy as much as I did this one, but I think I knew early on that George-Allen’s book was going to require some serious time and thought on my part. I can honestly say this book has contributed to a big shift in my thinking and will continue to do so.
Like the author admits in the Introduction, I, too, have held some huge misconceptions about women in the past, despite calling myself a feminist. I was very swept up with the cultural idea that women were “drama,” and I spent a good part of my young adult life priding myself on the fact that most of my good friends were guys. I poked fun at cheerleaders and sororities, or, really, any sisterhood of women.
The shift to recognizing the importance of women in my life has been a gradual one. Years ago, I worked with a wonderful group of women who spoke often of women’s groups and the power of women getting together. And still it didn’t fully sink in for me. It was really my transition into motherhood (oddly, only in that the author clearly states she doesn’t aspire to be a mother) that really connected me with other women and helped me see the value and power in female friendships. Even though not all my good friends are mothers, and while I do very much respect and value women who consciously choose that path, I know that motherhood was my initiation into the female circle. Not because it hadn’t welcomed me previously, but because I hadn’t let it.
I remember taking rare and sacred walks by myself when my first-born was a baby. As I walked, I thought about the baby I had carried and the birthing I had been through, and I knew that despite fatigue and uncertainty in this new passage of life, I was absolutely THE strongest and proudest I had ever been. I remember passing by male friends in the neighborhood and waving and smirking to myself. I was a freakin’ warrior! They would never know the deep power I knew. I was connected to generation upon generation of women who had been through the same birthing rites. Motherhood put me in circles of midwives and moms at La Leche meetings. I connected with my friends who were mothers on a deeper and richer level. And, those deep bonds carried over into my friendships with women who don’t have kids as well. My relationships with the women in my family have also seen undeniable benefits since my initiation into motherhood. My circle of women now is strong and so important to my life.
The chapter in George-Allen’s book on make-up blew my mind. Just as in my admission earlier that I used to shy away from too many friendships with women, I’ve also let myself develop some pretty whacky ideas about hair and make-up. I considered these things way too “girly” for me. (And HOW and WHY did an actual word built from the word “girl” develop a negative connotation?! I’m embarrassed I’ve used it in such a way and for so long.) This book opened up my eyes to an amazing example of the powerful feminine right in front of me–our daughter. When she was a baby, I refused to put her in pink dresses or headbands or anything that would be too “girly girl.” (There it is again!) I had read Peg Orenstein’s Cinderella Ate My Daughter book, and while I don’t remember much of the book now, I did have a great dread of our daughter going down the princess route. Reflecting on the princess culture would take me off into another long tangent, so I will just say that our girl is strong and feisty and independent… AND loves, LOVES dressing up in pretty dresses and putting on pretend make-up and fixing her hair. I’m quick to tell people she’s just as comfortable in fancy dresses as she is in a Hiccup or Woody costume, but, again, this implies that it is somehow only “okay” for her to be feminine IF she also embraces the masculine?.. Anyhow, reading the make-up chapter was a complete shift in my thinking. And it has helped me look to my seven-year-old in awe. She is an example of a true feminist. She embraces her femininity with enthusiasm and pride, while still asking questions like, “Why aren’t there more Lego women represented on this police force?” when watching YouTube, or asking questions I’d never thought to, like these ones here. I guess it’s no wonder this girl was born on International Women’s Day.
As you can see, Witches gives a lot of room for reflection. I haven’t even touched on the revelations I had while reading chapters like the ones about sex workers or nuns. Each chapter is its own beautiful, eye-opening exploration of the power of women coming together. For too long now, many women have been taught to see each other as competition or have been too busy putting one another down. Perhaps this has worked to some males’ perceived advantage to keep this isolation and rivalry going on between women. Because when women do come together? Well, magical, powerful change happens. We’re starting to see more and more of this. And, wow, does our world need it.
You may also be interested in:
The Swedish Way to Parent and Play
Love Sugar Magic
Run Like a Girl
