Embracing Clutter

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There are thousands of books and articles about de-cluttering.  Yes, I know it’s better for our mental health and energy levels to live in a clutter-free environment.  I know not everyone is on board with this “clutter-free” idea, but I happen to fully agree.  It’s just…

It’s not in my natural instinct, for one.  Which, granted, is no excuse.  But I also realize that, especially as a parent, I’m constantly faced with choices.  And as nice as a clutter-free, tidy home might sound, it just never ranks as a top priority for me.  So, I can either stress and fight against the chaos that is our home, or I can step over the clutter on the floor and live my life.  And, lately, I’m really trying for the latter.

I don’t like my kids sitting in front of a TV.  I borderline loathe it.  I’ve turned to it more this past year than I would care to admit to myself.  But when it comes to daily routine, I can either plop them in front of a screen while I tidy or spend that time letting them play (and, let’s face it, make more mess).  Yes, I know the ever-present idea that they should be involved in the clean-up.  I agree…to a point.  I once went with my daughter to a playdate when we were new to an area, and the mom spent the. entire. time. on the kids’ cases to clean up.  She followed each of their activities madly putting things away, instead of just letting them enjoy their time and letting us sit and get to know each other.  We easily could have cleaned up before leaving.  It was stressful and awkward, and it made me really happy for our messy home.

I believe kids’ jobs are to play.  I think many adults cling to an idea that if their three-year old doesn’t clean up his every mess that he will become some irresponsible, slob of an adult.  My kids do help to an extent, but they’re kids.  Not mini adults.  And frankly, if I don’t want to be tidying, why spend my time nagging my kids to do so?  My kids are also highly creative.  With homeschool and, apparently, parents who don’t need a Pinterest-perfect home, it’s game-on for creative projects.  There are always bits of paper everywhere and elaborate constructions of toys.  There are usually pillows and blankets dragged out for forts or boats or whatever make-believe play has struck their fancy.

At nighttime, I’d rather snuggle them to sleep with stories than close the door and participate in the cruel and antiquated “cry it out” mentality, regardless of their ages.  I remember how frightening nighttime could be for me, even as an older kiddo.  I want our kids to feel safe and comforted.  To me, this is part of the job.  Sure, it sucks sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  So, instead of doing a quick evening tidy, I’m in our family bed cuddling and telling stories.  Again, tidying takes a backseat.

And then there’s me.  I’d much rather spend my “free” time (Ha!) sewing or creating something (or typing this) than tidying up.  It’s just not high on my priority scale.  The result sounds nice, but… Nah.  And maybe this makes me lazy or a procrastinator.  But, honestly, the stuff will eventually get picked up.  It’s not like the kids will be teens and we’ll be stepping over these same piles of stuff that are here now.  (No, we’ll have new piles of stuff by then, of course!)

I also have this environmental weakness for always wanting to find a creative re-use for an item.  This is something that is never covered in de-cluttering manuals–The Obsessive Environmentalist.  So, at any given time, our cupboards have old toothpaste caps and outgrown baby socks and empty floss containers and old vitamin bottles, and a huge array of other miscellany.  (Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this!)

And, oh, the kids’ artwork!   When we had to evacuate last year for a fire, this was the top thing on my mind.  And even though I’ve tried to take photos of their creations, and I realize it’s about the process mainly at this stage, I still value these far too much to just recycle them.  And my kids create a LOT of art.  And a lot of awkwardly-shaped art.  It’s part of what comes from the flexible days of homeschool and the lack of directed projects.  I have buckets and places for these, but that doesn’t stop them from creeping all over the house.  Ah, well.  Another winner over the tidy house.

Obviously this is something I could rattle on about for awhile–mainly, I’m sure, in an attempt to convince myself it’s OK to be living in a messy house.  But with so many picture-perfect homes out there covering the Internet, it’s important for us chaotic, messy homes to stick together and realize a clutter-free life ain’t everything.  If a cluttered desk is a cluttered mind, then what the heck is an empty one?*

 

*Arguably, many Zen-type followers may be hoping for a clear and “empty” mind, and I applaud that.  But, at this stage of life, I’ll take my lot of ideas and thoughts, Thank you.

The Year of Living Danishly

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The Year of Living Danishly (2015)
by Helen Russell

This book tells the story of the author and her husband (both British) and their year living and working in Denmark.  Helen Russell had read that Denmark had repeatedly been listed as one of the “happiest” countries in the world.  So during her year there, she sets out to figure out why.  Each month (chapter) covers a different piece of society from education to health to hobbies.  Helen’s writing is engaging and quite hilarious at times.  But, I gotta say, the more I read about Denmark (at least how it was presented in this book), the more I felt like I was reading a dystopian novel.  I wondered if the Danes she talked about were really, actually happy or just happy because their lives were mapped out for them.  There were a few very disturbing bits in the animal segment.  And I didn’t appreciate the condescension she received at various times throughout the book.  I wasn’t sold on Denmark at the end, or really at all, but the author was.  I wondered if her attraction to Denmark was really just because they had chosen a slower pace of life than their city home and bustling careers.  hmmm.  Anyway, I’m glad I read it, and I look forward to reading other books by Ms. Russell.  I just don’t see us moving to Denmark anytime soon.

LOL

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I don’t know if I laugh out loud enough.  Probably not many of us do.  But, when I do, I get it.  I understand the importance of comedy and laughter in our lives.  And I want more!

I love being around people who make me laugh out loud, and I’m very lucky to say that many of the people in my life fill this role quite well.  I dislike when people or movies try to get a cheap laugh by tearing someone else down or by trying to be crass.  That’s not my type of comedy.  (So, that rules out a good majority of current TV shows and movies for me.)  I love witty comedy and, yes, I loves me some good puns.

I always thought “comedic timing” was about the timing of a live comedy performance or maybe the rhythm and pace of lines in a TV show or movie.  It never occurred to me that comedic timing can also be the actual time period of a joke.  Certain phrases or lines that may have been big hits decades ago may make no sense in modern context.  (And a slew of lines from 80s TV shows and commercials just rang through my head.)  And certain subjects definitely aren’t ready to be the core of jokes until decades from now.  There’s also our own personal comedic timing.  Things that have cracked me up in the past may not elicit the same response now.  And I think this is what makes comedy so magical.  It’s fluid and timely, and when it hits you, it’s unexpected.  That’s what makes it come alive.

The other night, as I was reading this book, I completely lost it.  I was in hysterics.  And as I tried to explain the reason for my laughter attack to my husband, I just laughed harder.  Actual tears were streaming down my face to the point where I didn’t know if I was laughing or crying, and I couldn’t catch my breath.  These kind of laughter fits are treasured ones.  And it made me reflect on other times in my life when I’ve laughed uncontrollably:

–Watching Wayne’s World for the first time in a budget theatre with my dad and brother
–Many instances with my childhood family, but the one that sticks out right now is at a restaurant we went to on vacation
–Seeing a Gary Larson cartoon in high school (which I cannot find even on the great wide Internet) of a caveman family riding an elephant, with the little boy saying, “Coast, Dad.  Coast.”
–Reading Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason on a friend’s houseboat
–Watching a live clown show (Yes, clown show) at the local library (I definitely didn’t see that one coming)
–Reading Darth Vader and Son on the couch, while holding my new baby boy.  (Serious gasping for air on this one–although my hormones were all over the place)
–Playing a video game with my son
–Laughing in bed with my daughter about a misunderstood deadly calf
–Reading Jenny Lawson’s book, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, on the couch before bed

The interesting thing, of course, is that I can remember exactly where I was and who I was with during each of these “episodes.”  There are countless others and ones on smaller scales.  And even though I may not be able to repeat these laugh-out-loud moments with the same triggers, I like remembering them.  It reminds me to seek out more of these moments in my life.  The moments that make me forget whatever silly thing I was worried about and plant me very firmly in enjoying the now.

“Studies show that laughter relieves pain, relaxes stress, and stimulates the immune system.”

From House Calls by Patch Adams

Finger Plays

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I don’t know that I knew many of these growing up.  I knew the classic, “Here is the Church and Here is the Steeple,” but that was about the extent of it.  Since becoming a parent though, I realize how much I love these!  Kids are drawn to the movement of the hands and fingers, and I love watching them try to puzzle out how to do these.  There are so many finger plays out there.  Here are some of my favorites:


Here’s a Cup of Tea

 


Two Little Friends

 

 

See also:
Songs
Rhymes

Two Little Friends

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This is one of my favorite finger plays and one we turn to often.  It’s a great one for learning opposites and reinforcing rhyming words.  We often leave out the finger play part and just do just the lyrics of this one while on a car ride.  We take turns coming up with rhymes.  I had always heard it as “Two Little Birds,” but I like “Two Little Friends,” since it allows for various finger puppets or little painted faces on fingers.

Lyrics:
Two little friends, sitting on a hill
One named Jack and one named Jill.
Run away, Jack!
Run away, Jill!
Come back, Jack!
Come back, Jill!

After that, you can start having fun with the lyrics.  If the friends are sitting on a cloud, one can be named “quiet” and one named “loud.”

Or they can be sitting on a pot, with one named “cold” and one named “hot.”  Sometimes the places get rather silly as I search for rhyming words.  When I do “young” and “old,” these poor friends always seem to end up sitting on some mold.  But, I think the silliness adds to the fun.  It’s a good brain exercise for me as I try to keep it going, and it usually holds the kids’ attention as they try to guess the rhyming opposite word.

Alina Celeste has a great example of just how fun this rhyming finger play can be!