There are thousands of books and articles about de-cluttering. Yes, I know it’s better for our mental health and energy levels to live in a clutter-free environment. I know not everyone is on board with this “clutter-free” idea, but I happen to fully agree. It’s just…
It’s not in my natural instinct, for one. Which, granted, is no excuse. But I also realize that, especially as a parent, I’m constantly faced with choices. And as nice as a clutter-free, tidy home might sound, it just never ranks as a top priority for me. So, I can either stress and fight against the chaos that is our home, or I can step over the clutter on the floor and live my life. And, lately, I’m really trying for the latter.
I don’t like my kids sitting in front of a TV. I borderline loathe it. I’ve turned to it more this past year than I would care to admit to myself. But when it comes to daily routine, I can either plop them in front of a screen while I tidy or spend that time letting them play (and, let’s face it, make more mess). Yes, I know the ever-present idea that they should be involved in the clean-up. I agree…to a point. I once went with my daughter to a playdate when we were new to an area, and the mom spent the. entire. time. on the kids’ cases to clean up. She followed each of their activities madly putting things away, instead of just letting them enjoy their time and letting us sit and get to know each other. We easily could have cleaned up before leaving. It was stressful and awkward, and it made me really happy for our messy home.
I believe kids’ jobs are to play. I think many adults cling to an idea that if their three-year old doesn’t clean up his every mess that he will become some irresponsible, slob of an adult. My kids do help to an extent, but they’re kids. Not mini adults. And frankly, if I don’t want to be tidying, why spend my time nagging my kids to do so? My kids are also highly creative. With homeschool and, apparently, parents who don’t need a Pinterest-perfect home, it’s game-on for creative projects. There are always bits of paper everywhere and elaborate constructions of toys. There are usually pillows and blankets dragged out for forts or boats or whatever make-believe play has struck their fancy.
At nighttime, I’d rather snuggle them to sleep with stories than close the door and participate in the cruel and antiquated “cry it out” mentality, regardless of their ages. I remember how frightening nighttime could be for me, even as an older kiddo. I want our kids to feel safe and comforted. To me, this is part of the job. Sure, it sucks sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. So, instead of doing a quick evening tidy, I’m in our family bed cuddling and telling stories. Again, tidying takes a backseat.
And then there’s me. I’d much rather spend my “free” time (Ha!) sewing or creating something (or typing this) than tidying up. It’s just not high on my priority scale. The result sounds nice, but… Nah. And maybe this makes me lazy or a procrastinator. But, honestly, the stuff will eventually get picked up. It’s not like the kids will be teens and we’ll be stepping over these same piles of stuff that are here now. (No, we’ll have new piles of stuff by then, of course!)
I also have this environmental weakness for always wanting to find a creative re-use for an item. This is something that is never covered in de-cluttering manuals–The Obsessive Environmentalist. So, at any given time, our cupboards have old toothpaste caps and outgrown baby socks and empty floss containers and old vitamin bottles, and a huge array of other miscellany. (Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this!)
And, oh, the kids’ artwork! When we had to evacuate last year for a fire, this was the top thing on my mind. And even though I’ve tried to take photos of their creations, and I realize it’s about the process mainly at this stage, I still value these far too much to just recycle them. And my kids create a LOT of art. And a lot of awkwardly-shaped art. It’s part of what comes from the flexible days of homeschool and the lack of directed projects. I have buckets and places for these, but that doesn’t stop them from creeping all over the house. Ah, well. Another winner over the tidy house.
Obviously this is something I could rattle on about for awhile–mainly, I’m sure, in an attempt to convince myself it’s OK to be living in a messy house. But with so many picture-perfect homes out there covering the Internet, it’s important for us chaotic, messy homes to stick together and realize a clutter-free life ain’t everything. If a cluttered desk is a cluttered mind, then what the heck is an empty one?*
*Arguably, many Zen-type followers may be hoping for a clear and “empty” mind, and I applaud that. But, at this stage of life, I’ll take my lot of ideas and thoughts, Thank you.