To speak the truth, I kind of did a “skimming” reading of this book. Two separate times though. I believe the original “love languages” book is based around the idea of a married couple and there is a slight religious undertone, but the book can really apply to anyone.
I love this book because it reminds us that material gifts are not the way to everyone’s hearts. It’s not just a fuzzy, feel good thing to say “the best gifts don’t come in boxes.” For some people, their “love language,” as the author calls it, is truly not a material possession.
Author, Gary Chapman, lists five love languages in the book—The Gift of Time (which would be spending quality time with someone doing something enjoyable or relaxing), The Gift of Words (which would be a nice, handwritten letter or words in person or over the phone about how much you appreciate or admire someone), The Gift of Service (which would be offering to wash a car, run errands, cook, etc), The Gift of Touch (which would be things like foot rub, a hug, a massage), and also material Gifts (which doesn’t always have to be big, expensive, store-bought gifts. If someone’s love language is “gifts,” you could bring home a cool pinecone you found on your walk, put a chocolate on their pillow, give them a book you just finished reading and loved). Anyway, what I love about this book is the reminder that we don’t have to be over-consuming crazy fools at holidays or celebrations. We can show our appreciation in other ways, and lots of people actually prefer those other ways. We’ve been trained to think in terms of gifts or expect gifts, but if you stop to really think about it, you may realize your love language is something else entirely.
I think I figured out early on that my love language is words. Any time I received a handwritten letter where someone really told me how much they appreciated me, that became a treasure I would revisit again and again. I began telling people who were close to me that on a birthday or holiday, a well-written card means more to me than anything else. Figuring out your love language can be a huge help to others and can help start to cut down on the gift craziness.