Tag: R-rated

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

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by Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess) (2012)

Oh. My. Gosh.  I have not laughed so hard while reading a book E-V-E-R.  My husband kept checking in to make sure I was ok, because my whole body was shaking uncontrollably with laughter.

I had read a quote on the Internet from this book and checked it out from the library to see more.  The cover and end papers looked bizarre, and I wasn’t sure what I’d think of this.  Jenny warns in the introduction that at some point in the book she’ll probably offend you, the reader.  Being a person who 1) is easily offended and who 2) was once told I have a more “narrow” sense of humor than most, I didn’t know how this book would go for me.  Well, it obviously went very well.  I looked forward to my healthy dose of laughter every time I indulged in another chapter.  Jenny Lawson tells stories from her life, and no matter the topic, she is just flipping hilarious.  As Neil Gaiman says in his review,

“The Bloggess writes stuff that actually is laugh-out-loud, but you know that really you shouldn’t be laughing and probably you’ll go to (heck) for laughing, so maybe you shouldn’t read it.  That would be safer and wiser.”

So, I’m not sure how others would react to this book, but if you’re looking for some laughter in your life, and you take to it like I did, you will be very grateful you picked this up!

 

The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide

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The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide (2017)
by Jenna Fischer

I am not an aspiring actor.  But I picked up this book because I love listening to the Office Ladies, and the more I hear from Jenna Fischer, the more I realize we share a lot of similarities.  I don’t usually listen to audio books.  Like, almost never.  But, our library only had this as an audio, and so I gave it a try.

I loved it!  It’s read by Jenna, which I think is a very important piece of a good non-fiction audiobook.  And even though she does offer really great tips and advice for actors, I found so many important life lessons in here for myself.  It was enjoyable and enlightening, and I honestly view actors differently than I used to.  But most importantly, it is helping me with many of my creative hang-ups and blocks.  I highly recommend this book, especially to actors and creatives.

Jenna Fischer deftly weaves her own story in with some really great practical advice for actors.  It never focuses too much on her life, but it also gives the reader plenty of looks into what she was doing before, during, and after The Office.  (And I love hearing these stories!)  Her words of wisdom for actors never come across as preachy or belittling; in fact, she openly admits she wishes she had followed much of this advice in her own journey.  She is honest about the fact that there isn’t really a set path in an actor’s life, but that many of her tips can at least help pave the road for being ready for opportunities.  I love that she includes interviews/stories in the back of the book from four different actor friends as well, to drive home that everyone’s journey is unique.

So, I’m not completely naive about the entertainment world.  I was never in it, the way some are, but I grew up near L.A.  My dad worked in the entertainment business, and I’ve been on a set here and there.  On the outskirts, I’ve been to events, and I even worked for a writing agent in Hollywood one summer.  I lived in the L.A. area for a year as a young adult and met people in the business and many trying to work their way in.  Still.  After listening to The Actor’s Life, I realize how many general assumptions I have been making about actors.  When I don’t see an actor in any films or TV for awhile after they’ve been in something “big,” I have always, always assumed this was by choice.  I admit, I even say a “Good for Them!” thinking they’ve chosen to embrace some quiet life instead.  As if this choice –my choice- is preferable for them.  Jenna discusses just how brutal this business can be.  Actors can land a big break and then not get cast for years, despite a desire to keep on as a working actor.

And as for the pay?  Yeah, I’ve been cynical about that too.  First of all, California, and L.A., specifically, are expensive places to live!  So, salaries are generally higher for many professions.  Then, Jenna explains the 10% off the top that goes to an agent, 10% to a manager, and, of course, taxes.  This is not to mention the years of classes and headshots and driving to and from auditions and sets.  The 23 minutes of a show we see as the audience does not include the many hours of prep and rehearsals and reshoots and so on.  (To be fair, Jenna Fischer really didn’t linger on the financial aspect all that much (other than to remind actors not to get into the biz for the money), but it was something that really struck me while listening.).
When I was a school teacher, I remember how jaded one of my co-workers was about the fact that the guest art teacher made about as much in an hour as we made in a day.  I knew even then, that there was more to it than that.  The art teacher didn’t have the steady work we had.  She had a unique training and skill set we didn’t have.  She had supplies and prep and clean-up we didn’t have.  Not to say there weren’t elements of this in our teaching jobs, and not that we were receiving the pay we deserved (ha!), but I got it.  It’s like the plumber who quickly fixes one thing and charges what seems like a lot.  We’re paying for his or her knowledge about what to fix and how to fix it, not for the actual time it takes. … I digress…  I, sadly, never gave actors this consideration before.  I was pretty cynical about the pay, and I’m grateful to this book for changing my mind, even though that wasn’t really one of the main points.  And while Jenna does offer “survival” tips for poor, aspiring actors, obviously the same tips can apply to sooooo many jobs and situations out there.  I remember while working as a teacher scouring the floor of my car in grocery store parking lots, looking for loose change so that I could buy some basic food items.

But, as I said, most of what I took away from this book was not about acting or money, but about my own journey.  I love writing.  I love blogging and making my little videos about reducing and reusing.  And even though it’s in my heart, and I love doing it, there is a bit of a bummer element to it knowing that I am basically invisible on the Internet.  I don’t like the spotlight, and I don’t need it.  But, I work hard and put my whole self into what I’m doing, so it can be discouraging.  But Jenna talks about the years that some actors spend just seemingly waiting.  She relates to the frustration, while also encouraging action.  Her inspiring words about creating your own work, collaborating on projects that mean something to you, and knowing that it will pay off, was definitely a helpful and hopeful message.  I’d like to think if I was an aspiring, non-working actor that I’d be making my own videos and projects and living my passion.  So, wouldn’t I do that now?  What I am doing?  I know exactly what’s in my heart.  This is an amazing time in history when people can create and share with the world at the click of a button.  So, yes!  I love writing and blogging and talking about helping our environment.  So, what is all my internal whining about?  I’m doing what I love.  As the successful playwright in The Incredible Jessica James tells Jessica, “There’s really not much more to it than this.”  To get to do what I love from the comfort of my home without anybody’s permission?  Wow!  I’m going to embrace this.

Derek Waters (of Drunk History fame) wraps up his interview at the end of the book by saying this:

I was in tears.  The combination of hearing Jenna’s book and hearing those words was just what I needed.  Read this book.  It’s awesome.

This Changes Everything

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This Changes Everything (2019)

During our month with Netflix, I’ve tried to be more focused about watching things from our list.  I came across This Changes Everything and thought I’d just preview it for a few minutes to get a feel for it and then move on to something else for the evening.  Well, an hour and a half later…

I really liked this film and think it is such an important one for people to see.  This documentary discusses the underrepresentation and inequality faced by women in Hollywood.  I think it’s important to note though, that the focus is on women.  The stats, the interviews, the stories are about women in Hollywood.  Looking at the low percentages of women writers or directors or female leads, I can only imagine how much smaller (to non-existent) that number is for people of color, transgender people, non-binary people, and so many more.  And while this discrimination is obviously equally important to explore, This Changes Everything‘s focus is women.  There were many criticisms I read about this in reviews, but I personally think it was important for the documentary to keep a focus.  It would be like saying this film should have explored discrimination faced by women in all fields.  The topic is women in Hollywood.  Ok, moving on.

This Changes Everything was a big wake-up call for me.  Even as it began, I seriously thought, ‘Oh, well, maybe this used to be the case, but certainly not now.’  But as more and more women shared their stories and statistics were given, I was shocked.  I guess I didn’t fully realize things like why a big deal was made of Gerwig’s Little Women being directed, written, and produced by women.  I don’t tend to watch a ton of movies and I can be a bit particular in what I choose to spend my time watching, so I’m not always ‘in the know.’  But, I think these low numbers would probably surprise most everyone.  It’s interesting because I feel like the book world has made huge strides recently in representation.  I can find everything from picture books to YA to adult about so many people’s stories.  But, oddly, in the ‘open-minded’ Hollywood, this isn’t the case.  And, as much as I far prefer and adore books, let’s be realistic – The average person is way more likely to experience story on the screen than in a book.

I can understand and appreciate that big change doesn’t happen overnight.  So, seeing responses like these in this link of Hollywood women speaking up might seem awesome, but looong overdue.  But I get it.  It’s a process.  Still, I was very surprised by the inequality that’s been happening in Hollywood this long.  And when audiences continue to hear or see a story from a white, male perspective then that is what we think is the norm.  I really loved Shannon Hale’s post about Do Boys Only Get to Read Half the Books? but it seems that female authors get more opportunities to storytell than females in Hollywood.  It was interesting to think of that from the TV/movie perspective where the women’s perspective isn’t as readily an option.  I heard several times in the documentary that studios weren’t sure if they were willing to risk telling a woman’s story for fear of losing half their audience.  Seriously?  So, much like Hale talks about, women are just expected to watch a male’s view, but men can’t do the same for women?  (Or seriously, like I said, fill in the blank of any minority group.). Do we think so little of men?

And yet, another huge issue of (certain) men being at the helm of these productions has been the gross sexism and appalling behavior that women have had to deal with.  Isn’t it fortunate for this male-centric bubble that the young female actors they most desperately want for these parts are also the ones trying so hard to navigate this new show-business world and become a success that they are more likely to put up with such bull crap?  I loved one quote from the documentary – “Progress will happen when men stand.  It’s the chivalry of the 21st century.”  Although I don’t know much about FX, I loved seeing the male head of this channel really take it to heart that women and minorities were being so under-represented on the network.  He did something about it.  And, when big change and lots of change needs to happen, we really do need the help and support of people ‘on the inside.’  Much like the groups of men in the early 19th century whose votes would decide the fate of women’s suffrage.  And to create change, we also need women to come together in community.  So many of these male-centric stories have shown women pitted against one another in competition and that has influenced our culture.  Even interviews will try to perpetuate this and keep women separate.  We don’t all need to be BFFs, but women need to support each other and stand up for one another.  Divided, alone, and silent is when we fall.  We are stronger together.

And is this gender imbalance in production the same reason our cartoons have been so lopsided for so many years?  Makes sense, I guess, if men are the ones writing and producing them.  I remember when I was teaching elementary school, I used to do an exercise where I had the students think of a male cartoon character.  Preferably a human-looking one for the sake of the exercise.  What did he look like?  What was he wearing?  What were his hobbies?  What did he spend his time talking about?  And then, I asked them to do the same with a female character.  Now, I know things have changed since I did this.  I know they have.  But, is it as balanced now as I’m assuming?  At the time I was doing this with students, Tinker Bell had a huge comeback.  This jealous, mean fairy from 1950s Peter Pan who wears very little clothing and spends a good amount of time pouting or playing mean tricks on the only other female? Yeah, her.  (Link that is hilarious but rated-R) That is not a role model for young girls or an appropriate view of the female for any audience members.  Characters like Tinker Bell are one of the reasons my children have not seen any of the classic Disney films.  And, actually, it was the imbalance of females in cartoon movies that led Geena Davis (producer of This Changes Everything) to start her Institute on Gender in Media in the first place.

So, yes.  We’ve had too many moments of “This Changes Everything!” in this and so many other aspects of the way our world is.  But like that 100th monkey, I just have to believe that all these steps, whether small comebacks in an interview or large movements like MeToo and TimesUp, these will make a difference.  And even though Hollywood, and specifically women in Hollywood, is one, just one, piece of a much, much bigger problem, every change helps.  And whether we agree with it or not, people do look to movies, TV, and celebrities as guides from a young age and into adulthood.  Seeing women’s stories, hearing women stand up for themselves, watching women finally be recognized for their talents and hard work, and not just the dresses they wear to the awards shows, these things all make a difference in how we all view ourselves and those in our lives.  These people in Hollywood – actors, directors, writers, producers, interviewers, critics – they have great power and responsibility to create change.

1-minute video-Ask Better Questions
Tina Fey Talks About Hiring Women Comedy Writers

 

You might also enjoy:

Witches: The Transformative Power of Women Working Together
Women, Weight, and Hollywood Delusion

Best. Show. Ever!

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Trying on AppleTV is by far one of my favorite shows of all time.  The show follows couple, Nikki and Jason, on their parenting journey.  After finding out they won’t be able to get pregnant, the couple pursues the adoption path.  Trying is full of reality, humor, and heart.  Everything about the show comes together so beautifully—the wonderful scripts, the perfect casting, the seamless music, the locations, the direction.  I’m beyond grateful for everyone who has been involved in making this heartwarming, beautiful show.  

I have loved joining, not only Nikki and Jason on their parenting journey, but also all the other characters.  Screenwriter/creator, Andy Wolton has an incredible ability to write all the characters of this show so well.  He’s given the characters depth and humor in a way that makes them all so human.  As much as I adore Nikki and Jason and their amazing chemistry, I can’t think of one character who wasn’t given a truly great story of their own in Trying. 

Watch this show.  Or don’t.  But it rocks.  And it’s one of the best things I’ve seen on television.

 

(Trying just wrapped up its 3rd season on AppleTV.  Will it be the last?  You know, I would take more if it came, but, as much as I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this show, I feel like Season 3 wrapped up the story quite wonderfully.)

Update:  SEASON 4!!  AHHHHH!

What Alice Forgot

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What Alice Forgot
by Liane Moriarty

When Alice comes to after falling and bumping her head at the gym, she’s worried about the baby in her belly.  Alice thinks she’s 29 and expecting her firstborn with her loving husband.  What she comes to find out, however, is that she’s lost her memory from the last ten years of her life.  Alice actually has three kids, is on the brink of divorce, and is about to celebrate her 40th birthday.  When this “younger” Alice starts piecing together her last ten years, she doesn’t like who she’s become.  She’s surprised to discover she has become distant from her sister, is too busy volunteering or exercising to really be there for her loved ones, and is in constant battle with the man she married.  It is only when Alice finally starts to get her memory back that she remembers how and why things are the way they are.

As I mentioned in other posts, I don’t read many novels for adults.  But, I’ve read this one twice now.  There’s “young” Alice with her optimism and naiveté, and there’s current Alice balancing motherhood, self-image, and a failing marriage. But it’s much more than Alice’s story.  We hear from Alice’s sister dealing with years of infertility and miscarriages.  Their mom, who has taken on a new, spunky zest for life.  And then there’s the adopted grandma who is cautiously letting love in after many, many years.

I think what I love about this book is the reflection on how we change over time and how our relationships shift.  How those changes can be viewed so differently by different people and even by ourselves.  I flew through this book both times, finding pockets of moments to read more and more.  I highly recommend it to adults.

 

P.S.  I found myself reflecting on this book again this evening, and I realized the (perhaps) obvious–which is that Alice “losing her memory” of the last 10 years is also very much a metaphor for what happens to many of us.  Whether it’s parenthood or a job or other all-encompassing life situations, sometimes people get caught up in the craziness and lose themselves or their awareness.  Not to say that there aren’t moments of clarity or joyfulness throughout, but I was definitely having one of those moments this evening.  A return to me.  A much-needed big deep breath while I realized that seven years of a lot of all-encompassing LIFE and love and chaos has happened.  What parent hasn’t suddenly looked up and, whether they’ve been present for it or not, asked, How did my baby grow up?  So, I was seeing that perhaps this, more than anything may have been the larger message of What Alice Forgot. Not simply about how we change over time, but how we sometimes get so swept up in things that we forget to look around and be present for what’s happening around us and within.