Tag: Questions

Why Not?

Posted on by keepinthesunlightblog@gmail.com

I don’t know when or where my 5-year-old picked this up, but lately, his favorite phrase is, “Why not?”  Of course this statement is usually preceded by something like, “Let’s have a cookie, cuz, why not?” or “Let’s watch TV, cuz, why not?”

As adults, we have the life experience to always think of a thousand answers to the “Why not?” question.  We can’t just jump on every whim or thought that crosses our minds.  They could be dangerous or unhealthy or financially irresponsible.  We don’t want to act on things that may cause eventual harm to ourselves or others or our world.  We have the foresight to see the future consequences of our choices.  So, “Why not?” becomes less of a fun philosophy and more of an actual consideration.

But, sometimes the things holding us back from certain goals or actions or trips are fears with no basis or an overthinking that can be safely quieted.  I know that I can’t embrace my son’s philosophy on quite the same level as him and that part of my job as his parent is to help him find that balance too.  But sometimes, every now and then, maybe it’s a good idea to look at that cookie or that idea or that dream and shrug my shoulders and say, “Why not?”

Women, Weight, and Hollywood Delusion

Posted on by keepinthesunlightblog@gmail.com

Can I just vent for a moment about how women’s weight is represented on television and movies?  Yes, I know it’s ‘Hollywood.’  Yes, I know we’re to suspend disbelief for a lot of things that happen in TV and movies and that many of these productions are a space for their audiences to escape reality – a place where characters have funny, witty responses, where life is always interesting, and where loose ends are tied up in the time period allowed.  I get that.  But the way that women have been portrayed, and ARE portrayed, in these worlds has a long way to go.  And dare I say, has some pretty damaging effects.

Gone are the days of TV house mothers vacuuming and cooking in their best dresses.  Gone are the days of women on TV cracking jokes about how eating certain foods will go right to their thighs or hips.  Nope.  Somewhere along the line, it became ‘cool’ for female leads to be relaxed, eat loads of junk food, and act like strangers to exercise.  Of course, all of the women playing these parts are thin and healthy, energetic and entertaining.  Were we to watch an overweight, lethargic woman on TV eating pizza and dissing on health food, audiences would cringe and shake their heads in judgement.  But by trying to make these women seem relatable and ‘fun,’ instead of obsessed with dieting and hitting the gym, media outlets have created even worse issues for women.

Carl’s Jr.’s degrading commercial campaign objectifying women eating hamburgers is one of the earliest instances of this obnoxious trend.  If they showed women who did regularly indulge in those massive, fatty burgers, the ad campaign would have been over before it began (especially considering the stance of slimy, former executive, Andrew Pudzder).  If we want women to truly embrace eating what they want and feeling secure in their bodies, then can we please show a realistic picture of what these lifestyle choices would look like?  These women would be larger (aka “normal-looking”), and if they consistently ate the way many of these female TV characters ate, they’d also probably have some health consequences.  I don’t mean this as a judgement – I fully support that these characters get to enjoy tasty foods -but many of these fictional females are repeatedly making unhealthy food and lifestyle choices without any sort of balance.  Realistically, we’d see the effects of their long-term choices in their emotional moods, their energy levels, their bodies, and even other parts of their appearances, like their eyes or skin.  (For reference, these ads, shows, movies, have spit buckets right out of view for when the director yells, “Cut!”  This food is NOT being consumed by these women.)

There’s a long list of TV shows that have embraced this story plot of the gluttonous, but thin and beautiful woman.  Some of them are shows I really enjoy, but the message sent is an unfortunate one.  Grace Adler, the Gilmore gals, Leslie Knope, Liz Lemon, Jessica Day –  I’m sure many, many others, but I have a limited knowledge of TV –  These women love their takeout and junk food and sweets and it’s a big part of their characters to fully embrace this, while simultaneously being horrible at exercise and shunning the idea of eating healthy or even being able to cook a meal.  Do we have to swing so far away from the stereotypical 1950s woman in the kitchen in order to reach a happy medium?  Is it too uncomfortable to feature a woman who does enjoy cooking?  Can we show women eating foods that keep their bodies healthy, in addition to showing them enjoy indulgences?  Can these characters enjoy exercise without being overly-obsessed with it?  Although I kinda get what these shows were trying to do, I cringe to see this idiotic idea that women should eat freely, not obsess about their health, and still look crazy thin.

I recently re-watched Bridget Jones’s Diary, a movie and book I love.  The film starts with Bridget listing her weight as 136 and claiming that she needs to lose 20 pounds.  Yes, pounds, because why list her weight in British stones when we American women can hear the utter absurdness of this number and goal and feel bad about ourselves?  It’s not just that Bridget weighs a certain amount and has this strange goal for herself; the entire plot is centered around the fact that her weight makes her chubby and undesirable.  For reference, her height and that weight put her exactly in the middle of a normal BMI.  So, I’m sorry.  But, what?!  And the book is worse.  She claims to be 129 “post-Christmas” and says she’s “terrifyingly sliding into obese” when she checks in later at 130.  This book was written by a woman, who was also on the team of screenwriters.  Umm…

Then, there’s Father of the Bride 2.  Another of my favorite rom-com indulgences.  Cute, predictable, comforting, and starring Steve Martin – a perfect Sunday afternoon escape.  But when George Banks lists his daughter’s and wife’s 9-month weights as 128 and 132, respectively??!!  It is hard for me not to type an expletive here.  There were not one, but two women as screenwriters on this!  These weights, with their heights puts them directly in the ‘normal’ BMI range WITHOUT being 9-months pregnant!!  Depending on pre-pregnancy weight, a woman should usually be gaining 25-40 pounds in pregnancy, the higher end of that range reserved for those with low BMIs to start with.  These women would have been severely underweight and unhealthy if these were their 9-month weights, which probably would have made it very difficult for the pregnancies to occur in the first place.

And just to digress a little bit here, inspired by FotB2 – Women’s pregnant bellies in movies and shows are laughingly small.  I must bring up another Steve Martin movie, another favorite of mine, The Big Year.  His daughter-in-law being pregnant is a small side story, but she looks rail thin when announcing she’s 4 months’ pregnant.  And when she introduces (Steve) to her newborn, she’s the exact same rail thin.  Any woman over the age of 20 (and who doesn’t live in Hollywood) and has had a baby, knows that you’re gonna look pregnant for some time afterwards.  Weeks, months, years…whatever.

So, Huzzah to the idea that TV women should be able to enjoy food, and not just for comedic effect when they’re feeling down about a break-up or something ridiculous like that.  But, for the sake of, well, everyone, regardless of gender, let’s paint a realistic picture of that.  Let’s show people making healthier, balanced choices, or at least show the consequences of not doing that.  Like it or not, audiences take these shows and movies into their subconscious and carry them for life.  Young women may be seriously baffled by the fact that they can’t sit and eat piles of junk food, poke fun at people who use the gym, and then not look like Rory and Lorelai.   Screenwriters, directors, actors, producers – whatever gender you are, stand up for this!  This unrealistic picture of women is no better than the ones from the distant past.  We can do much, much better.