They Grow Up So…Slowly

Almost every parent you’ll ever hear from talks about how quickly their children grown up.  Or, they’ll quote the “days are long, but the years are short” bit.  But, as an “at-home,” homeschooling mama, I get to be with these lovely kiddos ALL. DAY. LONG. (plus nights).  Time doesn’t exactly fly.  Not to say I’m immune to the gut-wrenching, bittersweet feeling of our kids growing up.  Yes, of course, it’s wild to think about them as babies or toddlers and look at them now.  Yes, when I want to scream and pull my hair out and run away from them, my heart almost immediately aches at the thought of our limited overall time under the same roof.  But, I wouldn’t exactly say that their ages are whizzing by.  Other people’s kids?  Sure.  Even kids who are the exact same ages as mine, will lead me into mind-boggling disbelief when I realize how old they are or how much they’ve grown.  Friends’ kids, my siblings’ kids, celebrities’ kids?  Where did the time go?!  How are they so old??  But, my own little darlings’ timeline does not zoom by at the same rate.

Which is great, don’t get me wrong.  This time is an absolute blessing, and as frustrating as it can be at times, I seriously wouldn’t have it any other way.  But, because we’re in this unique position of spending so much time together, I just sometimes feel like I can’t relate to the tears of disbelief other parents might have upon their children’s birthdays or milestones.  I’m more like, “Wait, aren’t you already that age?  Cuz I really thought you were.”

So, I loved when a character from my favorite shows had this small, almost unnoticeable aside, while showing photos of her kids, saying, “They grow up so…slowly.”  And then I overheard the stay-at-home dad on Bluey say something to his daughter, like, “Aren’t you already six?”  And she assures him she’s not yet.  Yes!  Finally some parents who understand!  Maybe it’s a SAHP thing, because I also remember some lines from one of my favorite books, More Love, Less Panic that allude to this stretching of time that can happen with young children.  Maybe it’s because I’m given opportunities in my day to reflect on where the kids have been and where they’re headed.  Maybe it’s because I really, truly do NOT miss their baby/toddler stages AT ALL.  I don’t sit and weep over their old onesies.  Those were some of the toughest years of my life, and I am grateful to be past them.  But, whatever it is, it’s another of the zillion parent curses/blessings.  I’ll certainly cry and shake my head at this ridiculous post someday when my heart is aching at how much they’ve grown and how I don’t hear running and whining and screams of “MoOoom” from the next room.  I’ll always be grateful for this time I get to spend with our kids.  Even when this treasured time seems to c…r…a..w..l… by, minute by long minute.

 

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The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide

The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide (2017)
by Jenna Fischer

I am not an aspiring actor.  But I picked up this book because I love listening to the Office Ladies, and the more I hear from Jenna Fischer, the more I realize we share a lot of similarities.  I don’t usually listen to audio books.  Like, almost never.  But, our library only had this as an audio, and so I gave it a try.

I loved it!  It’s read by Jenna, which I think is a very important piece of a good non-fiction audiobook.  And even though she does offer really great tips and advice for actors, I found so many important life lessons in here for myself.  It was enjoyable and enlightening, and I honestly view actors differently than I used to.  But most importantly, it is helping me with many of my creative hang-ups and blocks.  I highly recommend this book, especially to actors and creatives.

Jenna Fischer deftly weaves her own story in with some really great practical advice for actors.  It never focuses too much on her life, but it also gives the reader plenty of looks into what she was doing before, during, and after The Office.  (And I love hearing these stories!)  Her words of wisdom for actors never come across as preachy or belittling; in fact, she openly admits she wishes she had followed much of this advice in her own journey.  She is honest about the fact that there isn’t really a set path in an actor’s life, but that many of her tips can at least help pave the road for being ready for opportunities.  I love that she includes interviews/stories in the back of the book from four different actor friends as well, to drive home that everyone’s journey is unique.

So, I’m not completely naive about the entertainment world.  I was never in it, the way some are, but I grew up near L.A.  My dad worked in the entertainment business, and I’ve been on a set here and there.  On the outskirts, I’ve been to events, and I even worked for a writing agent in Hollywood one summer.  I lived in the L.A. area for a year as a young adult and met people in the business and many trying to work their way in.  Still.  After listening to The Actor’s Life, I realize how many general assumptions I have been making about actors.  When I don’t see an actor in any films or TV for awhile after they’ve been in something “big,” I have always, always assumed this was by choice.  I admit, I even say a “Good for Them!” thinking they’ve chosen to embrace some quiet life instead.  As if this choice –my choice- is preferable for them.  Jenna discusses just how brutal this business can be.  Actors can land a big break and then not get cast for years, despite a desire to keep on as a working actor.

And as for the pay?  Yeah, I’ve been cynical about that too.  First of all, California, and L.A., specifically, are expensive places to live!  So, salaries are generally higher for many professions.  Then, Jenna explains the 10% off the top that goes to an agent, 10% to a manager, and, of course, taxes.  This is not to mention the years of classes and headshots and driving to and from auditions and sets.  The 23 minutes of a show we see as the audience does not include the many hours of prep and rehearsals and reshoots and so on.  (To be fair, Jenna Fischer really didn’t linger on the financial aspect all that much (other than to remind actors not to get into the biz for the money), but it was something that really struck me while listening.).
When I was a school teacher, I remember how jaded one of my co-workers was about the fact that the guest art teacher made about as much in an hour as we made in a day.  I knew even then, that there was more to it than that.  The art teacher didn’t have the steady work we had.  She had a unique training and skill set we didn’t have.  She had supplies and prep and clean-up we didn’t have.  Not to say there weren’t elements of this in our teaching jobs, and not that we were receiving the pay we deserved (ha!), but I got it.  It’s like the plumber who quickly fixes one thing and charges what seems like a lot.  We’re paying for his or her knowledge about what to fix and how to fix it, not for the actual time it takes. … I digress…  I, sadly, never gave actors this consideration before.  I was pretty cynical about the pay, and I’m grateful to this book for changing my mind, even though that wasn’t really one of the main points.  And while Jenna does offer “survival” tips for poor, aspiring actors, obviously the same tips can apply to sooooo many jobs and situations out there.  I remember while working as a teacher scouring the floor of my car in grocery store parking lots, looking for loose change so that I could buy some basic food items.

But, as I said, most of what I took away from this book was not about acting or money, but about my own journey.  I love writing.  I love blogging and making my little videos about reducing and reusing.  And even though it’s in my heart, and I love doing it, there is a bit of a bummer element to it knowing that I am basically invisible on the Internet.  I don’t like the spotlight, and I don’t need it.  But, I work hard and put my whole self into what I’m doing, so it can be discouraging.  But Jenna talks about the years that some actors spend just seemingly waiting.  She relates to the frustration, while also encouraging action.  Her inspiring words about creating your own work, collaborating on projects that mean something to you, and knowing that it will pay off, was definitely a helpful and hopeful message.  I’d like to think if I was an aspiring, non-working actor that I’d be making my own videos and projects and living my passion.  So, wouldn’t I do that now?  What I am doing?  I know exactly what’s in my heart.  This is an amazing time in history when people can create and share with the world at the click of a button.  So, yes!  I love writing and blogging and talking about helping our environment.  So, what is all my internal whining about?  I’m doing what I love.  As the successful playwright in The Incredible Jessica James tells Jessica, “There’s really not much more to it than this.”  To get to do what I love from the comfort of my home without anybody’s permission?  Wow!  I’m going to embrace this.

Derek Waters (of Drunk History fame) wraps up his interview at the end of the book by saying this:

I was in tears.  The combination of hearing Jenna’s book and hearing those words was just what I needed.  Read this book.  It’s awesome.