The Brave Learner

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The Brave Learner
by Julie Bogart

A few months ago, I remember wishing I had a veteran homeschool mother to talk to.  Someone who had made it through the journey and could offer me the comfort and wisdom that all of this really would work.  That we hadn’t ruined our children by not teaching the standards and keeping to the schedule.  That we would be ok, even if we didn’t ever quite perfect the housecleaning schedule or meal plan.  That even if we broke down into not-so-great versions of ourselves in a ludicrous effort to “help” our kids be forced into better versions of THEMselves, that we would still be ok.

Granted, we are at the beginning of this homeschooling journey and this book only just came out recently.  But, I feel like it’s what I’ve been searching for all along.  I come away from reading it feeling more peaceful about homeschooling, but also about our whole parenting and adult journey.  I almost feel like if I do little else with my kid for the next few weeks but really take in this book, it would be time well spent.  But, of course, learning is always happening, and that’s part of what I love about this book.  It’s almost like it’s giving me permission to do what I’ve felt in my gut is right all along.  The lengthy conversations and explanations our daughter begs for.  Storytelling and asking questions together.  Playing and reading and supporting the kids in following through with their ideas.  Even though I feel like a very relaxed, flexible homeschool mama, my former life as a teacher, and, frankly (as much as I say it doesn’t) societal expectations, often get in the way of me just following my gut.

The Brave Learner will be a touchstone during this homeschool journey.  And I am overjoyed to discover all the other resources Ms. Bogart offers.  Her Brave Writer program, her podcast, her poetry teatime, for goodness sake.  I cannot recommend this book highly enough!

Coronavirus–Kids at Home

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Lots and lots of kids are spending lots and lots more time at home right now.  And without getting into all the emotions and concerns and craziness of the current reality, I know that this kids-at-home thing is a very new thing for a lot of people.

As homeschoolers and living in a new place, our day-to-day is a lot of time at home and together.  A LOT.  So, there is a little bit of weirdness to suddenly hear people entering what’s been our reality for the last seven years.  I wish I could say I was some sort of expert at staying calm and sane and thriving being home all day with kids, but that is, sadly, not the truth.  It’s something I feel I am constantly working at.

I do know there are basic things that need to happen for sanity.  I don’t always feel like I do them all or do them all well, but I’ll just give my quick list:

–Get outside!  Alone and together.  Even if it’s standing on a front porch or balcony to take a breath.  I always think I need to plan a bunch of “fun” activities for the kids outside.  I love collecting ideas and making lists.  But the big truth, for us anyway, is that our kids always come up with way better stuff in the moment than I ever could have planned.  If we can get past the enormous battle of clothes and socks and shoes to step out the front or back door, then we are in business.

–Eat well.  Stress eating is a very real thing, and bad eating can quickly lead to a downward spiraling mood.  I know available fresh food is at a premium, but the best choices possible right now will help everybody’s health and emotional well-being.

–Alone time is key.  If your kids are anything like mine and will barely let you go to the bathroom alone, then this can be a challenge.  Some parents can miraculously wake up a bit before their kids to squeeze in alone time.  Our kids wake whenever I do with almost no exceptions.  But sneaking away for a shower or a breath outside or a phone call can be sanity savers when they’re possible.

–Together time is also important.  Sometimes I feel jealous of parents who work away from home, imagining that they can devote their full attention to their kids when they are together in a way that I just feel I never do.  I know that isn’t true, but I do remind myself that I need to just go all in at certain points during the day and really BE THERE.  Not doing dishes or trying to get work done or trying to respond to a text or trying to see what’s going on in the world, and just really be present for Legos or dolls or board games or reading or whatever is going on.  It’s not only important to have that connectedness, but, for us anyway, it truly shifts the kids’ moods away from tantrums.

–Movement/exercise is also very important.  I know with gyms closing their doors this will have a huge impact on many people’s routines.  But nobody has banned walks or runs or hikes, as far as I know.  Also, simply dancing with your kids or playing tag in the front yard or balloon volleyball in the living room can all be ways to get your heart rate going.

–Limit screen time, but be flexible.  I know how tempting it can be, especially if you’re trying to work from home to just use the screens.  And, on the one hand, I say, Please, please try to find alternatives.  Kids are really good at making their own fun when you give them the chance and the right tools.  But, it is also a time to be flexible.  Try to pick shows or movies you feel good about and then let go a bit and realize your kids will be ok.  Talk about plots and conflicts or movies at dinner time.  Ask them what they learned on their favorite vlog.  Have them write fan fiction or act out a scene.  Too much screen time can be dangerous.  But, making it work in a way that you can all feel ok about, isn’t a horrible thing during this time.

 

The list could probably go on and on as to what “key” things make a sane and happy day.  (I haven’t even mentioned “social interaction” (whatever that is right now) and doing “the things that bring you joy” and all those…)  But, the good news, in my experience, is that once I start to do even one of these things fairly well, the other areas usually have a way of magically falling into place.  Not always, but often enough that I can trust it.

 

The Leprechauns

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I first heard about the leprechauns when I was helping in a first grade classroom years ago.  Those little mischievous guys and gals would sneak into the classroom at recess and lunch and mess with everything.  They’d put all the chairs up on the desks or hang posters upside down.  It was all rather silly.  In fact, the students discovered many leprechaun tricks that we adults didn’t even know about.  They were on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary.

The leprechauns do visit our house every St. Patrick’s Day; we invited them.  They don’t get too elaborate, but the kids like their visit.  The leprechauns write in green on mirrors and tubs and toilets (they find that green whiteboard markers work well).  Mostly, they just leave tiny green footprints.  Sometimes they write in their special leprechaun handwriting things like, “You can’t catch me!”  All very silly.

Here are some other simple things the leprechauns do when we aren’t looking:  (They have to be pretty obvious since our house usually looks pretty chaotic in its normal state…)

-put chairs backwards or on the table

-hang wall pictures or fridge pictures upside down

-put green (food coloring) in the toilets

-put our silverware upside down in the drawer

-hang calendars upside down

-put the pillows at the foot of the bed

-switch toothbrushes around

And so on.  But what I love about our leprechauns is that they always clean everything up when they finally leave late St. Patrick’s Day night.

Ogre Enchanted

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Ogre Enchanted (2018)
by Gail Carson Levine

Ogre Enchanted tells the story of Evie, a young healer who refuses an unexpected marriage proposal from her best friend.  A meddlesome fairy present at the time of the proposal doesn’t like such disappointments and casts a spell on Evie that turns her into an ogre.  Now Evie has 62 days to secure (and accept) another proposal before she stays an ogre forever.  Through her interactions with giants, ogres, dragons, and humans, Evie fights for her survival and battles between her healer instincts to help and her ogre instincts to harm, as she looks for a true love who can see past her hairy and smelly exterior.

20 years after Ella Enchanted, Ms. Levine has given readers a spirited, page-turning companion book.  Ogre Enchanted‘s story takes place a couple years before the original book, and its epilogue leaves off just months before Ella’s birth.  Fans of Ella will enjoy the references and connections between the two books, although, as these were obviously not written as a set, some forgiveness in details must be present.  (I read one reviewer who was quite upset that Ella Enchanted had left out details that couldn’t have been written before its prequel was penned.)  Ogre Enchanted is definitely for an older audience than Ella Enchanted, with some rather violent bits.  Ms. Levine says her story was inspired by the Portuguese tale of “The False Prince and the True,” although many reviews also compare this book to “Beauty and the Beast.”

After my second read of this book, I really enjoyed doing a re-read of Ella Enchanted and found fun details and connections.  Perhaps they weren’t all intended ones (such as the healer in Char’s group of knights possibly being Evie’s son…?), but I had fun searching, nonetheless.

Austenland

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Austenland
by Shannon Hale

Thirty-something, Jane Hayes, has never had much luck in love.  While she claims to be disinterested, deep in her heart she knows she is secretly measuring each man against a very high standard–the one and only, Mr. Darcy.  Apart from her fascination with the Jane Austen books, she has also watched the BBC Pride and Prejudice mini-series more times than she’d care to admit.  When Jane is given an opportunity to spend three weeks immersing herself in Jane Austen’s world at an exclusive experience/stay called Austenland, Jane hopes this will be her chance to finally say good bye to her fantasy.  With all the outfits and dinners and twists and turns of an Austen novel, Jane finds herself wavering between finally living out her daydreams and realizing maybe, just maybe, reality, even with its disappointments, might be better.

As with so many books I’ve read and reread, I have the amazing gift of a forgetful memory.  And so, on the most recent reread of Austenland, I found myself staying up late each night to read just one more chapter to find out what happens.  Having also just rewatched the BBC Pride and Prejudice twice in the last few weeks (at the request of our six-year old), I found this book all the more fun.  Thank you again, Shannon Hale.

P.S.  Gotta love Ms. Hale’s letter to Colin Firth.