Why Homeschool?

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I still remember exactly where I was when I knew I wanted to homeschool my future kids.  I had just read a book –I can’t remember which one or why I had even picked it up or even if I would still like it today if I re-read it–but after reading it, I absolutely knew in my gut that homeschooling was a path I wanted to explore.

The whole idea had never been on my radar before.  Ever.  I grew up very content with my public school experience.  I knew a couple of homeschool families, but mostly I viewed homeschooling as something very foreign and a little strange.  Later in life as a public school teacher, the case against homeschool felt even stronger.  A homeschool student entering the classroom felt like a burden, since they weren’t “up to standard” with the rest of the class.  I had all the misconceptions most people hold about homeschoolers, even though I found that the ones I knew didn’t seem to fit these labels at all.  Now, being a homeschool family, I’m not sure if people still hold these judgements and preconceived ideas and I’m just oblivious, or if homeschooling has actually become more of a mainstream option.

Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, and it definitely is not easy, despite my background in teaching and my fairly “laid-back” approach.  Trusting the process is TOUGH.  Dealing with your own kids in the learning environment is TOUGH.  Not for all homeschoolers, mind you.  I know some homeschool families who set up little daily lists and their children, even the young ones, skip off merrily to go complete their work.  Ha!  Not the case in our home.  I’d say it’s taken some very bumpy roads to get where we are now.  It’s kind of like parenthood– I haven’t always liked the details of it, it’s driven me bonkers, but I also wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So here are some reasons I love homeschooling for us (and I know these aren’t homeschool-exclusive, but since this is our only experience…)  Also, many of the things I love about homeschooling are also many of the challenges–go figure.

 

–Our kids can go at their own pace.  I firmly believe in trusting the process and trusting that kids will be ready when they’re ready.  We see examples of it all throughout parenthood, whether it’s when our baby walks or potty trains or learns to ride a bike.  You can’t force these things to happen “early” anymore than you can force your kid to grow taller sooner.  That said, trusting the process is tough, especially when public-school kids of the same age are on a different timeline.

–Our kids can play!  This is one of THE biggest reasons I have for homeschooling.  Many families in this country are on an unofficial race to have their kid learn to read, write, and solve math before other kids or at the youngest age possible, as if this is some sort of indication of long-term genius and success.  I have a very strong belief that babies and young kids, especially, belong with family, not in daycares or preschools, whenever possible.  And, I believe that a young child will learn a lot more about life in the long-run from being allowed to play.  I cringe when I hear young children spending their time doing school skills, instead of learning through imagination and getting their hands dirty.

–We can spend more time on subjects.  This sounds weird, since it is sometimes such a battle to do even the smallest tasks, but more often than not, our daughter will ask to do more than I have in mind.  “Can we do a few more?”  “Can we do this a little longer?”  I don’t think this happens that much in school settings.  Students are often on strict schedules and aren’t given the time and space to explore things further.  They also tend to be “trained” into the anticipation of recess and breaks that it doesn’t often occur to them to spend MORE time doing a subject.  (At least, this was my experience when I was a classroom teacher.)  If there’s an especially strong interest in something, I can center the rest of the day or week around it.

–We can go with the flow of the day.  This is a tricky one to find a balance with for me.  I love being able to run outside in the morning, if the weather is special, instead of diving right into school.  Or being able to drive to the lake or spend time with a visitor.  This kind of flexibility definitely depends on a parent and student who are able to make the lessons happen, even if it’s at different times of the day or in different settings.  But, wow.  Schooling at a park or at the beach or in the car on the way to a museum–these are moments when homeschool really shines.

–We do a lot of learning through discussion.  I often wonder if I’m “doing enough” for schooling, and then I have to remind myself of just how much we talk about during the day.  I know families who send their kids to school might not think this counts, since I’m sure they talk to their kids too, obviously.  But, because we are with the kids all day long, we know exactly what they’ve read and seen and experienced, and we continuously build on that.  We reference back to these frequently and we constantly tie conversations into what we’re learning without “forcing” it.  This natural flow of discussion and questions feels so much better to me than textbooks.

–I get to tell stories!  I love, love storytelling, and it is a huge part of our learning here.  I would love to tell more folktales and fairytales, but mostly I tell stories from my past or from books I’ve read or movies I’ve watched.  It’s a great opportunity for so many more discussions, and I love that we have the time and space to answer all the questions that arise during the day.

–We get to be flexible with our schedule.  This can feel like a negative too, but if we’ve stayed up late, we can all sleep in and get the rest our bodies need.  If it’s a bright, beautiful morning and we’re all awake, we can start school then and be done early and have the rest of the day to play and explore.   Our kids are seriously cranky when they don’t get the right amount of sleep, so I am very grateful for this flexibility.

–Our kids get to spend their days together.  I know sibling squabbles and loving times are part of every family, but I just love that our kids get to spend their days together, instead of being sent to different classrooms.  I know as they grow older, this may shift, but I’m so glad for this time they have to play and learn together.

–We have the time and space for “real-life” skills.  I didn’t cook a meal or use tools or sew clothes or vacuum the house as young as our kiddos have.  Part of it is just the nature of being home all day, and part of it is our schooling, but I love that these skills are built into the day.

 

I know there are more.  Many more.  I’m sure I’ll want to edit and add as I think about this, and especially as the years pass and everything shifts yet again.  As a former classroom teacher and someone with many wonderful, talented family and friends who are classroom teachers, I absolutely know there are advantages to all different types of schooling.  There have certainly been days I’ve seriously questioned homeschool as our choice.  And I think that’s important to keep doing from time to time.  I’m sure I’ll write a post someday about all the reasons homeschooling seriously sucks too.  But, it’s also really helpful for me to remember the reasons we chose this path.  Because these WHYs are what keep me going.

Trusting the Process–Homeschool

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Even though I have a background as a public school teacher, I feel like I’m fairly flexible about our homeschool.  Some of my top reasons for homeschooling are so the kids have playtime and can learn at their own pace.  I know this in my heart.  But, sometimes–Ok, often–my head likes to get in the way.

It’s one thing to say that I know (and even love) that our kids are learning on their own time.  Schedules and standards and young kids at desks all day make me itchy and uncomfortable.  And yet, these “away-school” kids will learn things sooner than my kids.  Obviously.  Even for those of us who know the whole parenting “race” is ridiculous, it’s hard not to feel the tug.

This is one of the reasons I don’t like using the word “due date” for new babies.  A baby’s guess day, as I prefer to call it, is just that.  It is perfectly “normal” for a baby to come up to two weeks before or after that estimated day.  And yet…somehow parents feel this smugness for an “early” baby or feel behind if their baby is “late.”  With the exception of special circumstances, all babies are eventually going to walk and talk and use the potty.  And yet…parents panic if their kid is behind other kids or they feel like they’ve got a genius baby if their kid is first.  This is one of the reasons we refused to go to a conventional pediatrician for many years.  The percentages on growth charts and developmental stages makes me want to gag.  I know, I know, there’s a bigger reason for it–for catching special circumstances early, etc.  But, mostly it becomes just another comparison game.  ugh.

I’m digressing, but I think it’s important to note that trusting in our kids and the process is all-encompassing.  Even for those kids who go to a school setting where there are lists of standards and expectations, there are students who will learn certain skills earlier than others.  We all have different abilities and interests.  Kids in the same grade are different ages and have different support at home.  Some students click well with certain teachers and some don’t fit into the school setting at all.

In homeschool, the differences are even bigger.  A homeschooler might not read until age 9, but they might be able to have “big, juicy conversations” (as Julie Bogart says) with adults long before that.  The Waldorf philosophy is that a child who can’t read yet is much better at observing the world and learning from natural surroundings than one who can read.  A homeschool child might not be starting multiplication when their public school friends are, but they might have a very strong understanding of spatial awareness from sewing or of highly advanced problem solving skills from all their extra time building Legos.

All of this sounds well and good, but do I still have a slight panic when my (very understanding) family who are educators sees where we are in our schooling?  Yes.  Yes, I do.  Our daughter spent most of what would be considered her kindergarten year running around with friends and listening to lots and lots of books while I nursed her brother.  Meanwhile other kindergarteners were in school several hours a day, learning things like sight words and coding and coming home with homework.

I remember countless times in our kids’ lives when I’ve had a panic that they were never going to pick up on a certain skill.  Our first-born loved sitting and listening to books for hours.  And then, around age three, she wouldn’t even sit through a page without getting distracted and leaving.  Instead of seeing this as a normal phase for a kid her age, I panicked.  As a book lover, I was distraught when I began to think maybe this was an indication that she didn’t like books.  That stage, of course, was short-lived.  Now, she would listen to us read all day long if we could.
My husband, who loves bike riding, had his own “moment” when he thought our daughter would never branch out and try a bike without training wheels.  (And, yes, we had tried the Strider method)  Now it was my turn to be calm.  It’s much easier to trust the process when it’s not something you’re passionate about.

So, the important thing for me to remember is to come back to our reasons for homeschooling.  We’re not in this to “be ahead of the curve” or to “keep up” with other kids.  We chose this path to be able to spend our lives together.  To instill a love for learning, instead of pressuring our kids to meet a standard.  We chose this to allow our kids time to be kids, to run around and play and explore.  We’re very, very lucky that we have two healthy, active, strong, and smart kids.  They are on their own timing for learning.  All my husband and I have to do (other than, you know, be there and homeschool them) is step back and trust.

 

Care Packages

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It is definitely a time for care packages.  There are so many circumstances right now that call for a little (or a lot of) extra love, whether it’s sickness or loneliness or a family effected financially.  Even just a general cheer boost is so very needed right now.

When I hear about someone is struggling, whether it’s during Covid or otherwise, I always want to reach out and do something.  I often struggle though with where to begin.  What to say.  What to send.  Especially when the circumstances are very tough, it’s hard to know just what to do.

I’ve been the very grateful recipient of some amazing care packages and gestures during times I really needed it, and this has been a big help in me getting over the hurdle of overthinking things and just reaching out with what feels right at the time.

 

The occasions when a care package is a good idea are endless, but here’s a small list based on when I’ve received or sent one:

–Expecting a new baby
–After a miscarriage 
–After an operation or surgery or treatment
–A birthday
–After a divorce or break-up
–For the parents or siblings after a new baby’s arrival
–For a big celebration- new job, new house, new pet, retirement
–When someone is sick
–After losing a loved one
–For someone who will be alone on a holiday
–After a major life event, happy or sad

 

Obviously, the occasions are limitless.  Every care package I’ve received over the years has put so much joy into my heart.  And while something sent via an online store is fun too, there is definitely something extra special about the time and effort of a hand-packed package.  So, here are some ideas for what to put inside:

—Homemade cookies (These usually travel well, unless there are terrible mail delays.  I often make the cookies ahead of time and freeze them for a few days to give them a little extra chance.  I think homemade cookies are good for pretty much any occasion.  (A friend even sent a whole box of cookies to us after my mother-in-law passed away, and they were very much welcomed and appreciated.)

–Store-bought food goodies (After I gave birth to my first kiddo, my sister sent a whole package of baby/mini-sized store-bought snacks for me, and I still think back to how wonderful those tasted.  New mamas are HUNGRY!)

—Homemade granola  {If I’m sending homemade treats in a priority box where weight doesn’t matter, I love reusing/upcycling glass jars to package them.  There are also eco-friendly, compostable sandwich bags available at stores for affordable prices.}

–Bath tea blend (I bought a bag of homemade bath tea after I gave birth to my first baby, and I loved how relaxing and calming it felt, even amidst the chaos.  Bath blends could be great for anytime, but especially when someone needs extra love and self-care.  There are some very simple blend ideas online.)

–Eye pillow (These are fairly easy to sew your own)

—Corn bags

 

—Paper fortune cookies

–“Hugs” (In a recent care package I sent out, I wanted so badly to be able to give hugs, so I cut out small hearts and wrote a “hug” message on each of them.  I wrote a separate hug from each member of our family to each member of their family.  So for their family of five I had five hearts from each one of our four family members, making 20 hearts total.  ” A hug from Mary to Jon”. “A hug from Mary to Natalie” etc.  I put them in a small envelope along with everything else.)

–Pajamas.  (Something about a well-chosen set of soft pajamas just says comfort and self-care.)

–Ditto with slippers

–A hand-written card (Never underestimate the power of your words, even if those words are, “I don’t know what to say right now.”)

–Artwork (If you love painting or creating, or if you have kids who do, this is a great thing to include.)

–If kids are on the receiving end, it’s always fun to include something extra for them (while being conscious of things like the mess or effort it puts on the parents, the interests of the kids, and the environmental impact).

—Homemade play-dough.  (It’s not just for kids.  There’s something very relaxing about working with dough, and an adult is probably more likely to try this if it’s sent as a gift.)

–Coloring pages (As above, not just for kids)

 

Care packages are ultimately about the thought–the care you put into the package and the care you’re sending someone’s way.  I try my best to stay away from items that will add more work for the recipient, but, of course, I’ve also got the environmental bug in my ear as well.  Hopefully, the recipient will feel the love and thought that went into what’s been sent and know they’re on my heart.  What can be better than a surprise package in the mailbox that reminds us that someone cares

Clothes-Reducing and Reusing

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CLOTHING LIST A-Z (see end of post)

I have a ways to go in the eco-conscious clothing cycle, but I thought I’d offer some basic thoughts here:

WHY REDUCE?
–Crops like cotton can be hugely wasteful.  Between the water waste and pesticides, simple items like t-shirts are a big source of environmental damage and waste.
–The production, transportation, and maintenance (washing/storage tubs/etc) of clothes contributes to their environmental impact.
–In one year, up to 18 million tons of textiles end up in landfills!

Step 1-REDUCE
–Before buying clothes, ask yourself if you really need them.  Are you wearing and appreciating what you already have?  Do you already have enough of this certain type of clothing?

–Choose wisely.  Choose clothes that are well-made, quality clothes, preferably ones that are made from conscious companies and sustainable materials.  These clothes may cost more initially, but will last longer and are better for our planet.

–Buy clothes that you’ll be able to enjoy for many years and make it a point to take pride in your clothing lasting.  I’m always surprised by how many people choose to comment in a negative way about their own outfits or others’ if they’ve had them too long.  This needs to start shifting, and I think people who are “influencers” can help this along.

–Speaking of which, buy clothing in classic styles that won’t be out of style anytime soon.

–Say “no” to free clothes that you won’t enjoy.  People have a tendency to get caught up in the moment of an event and the idea of “free,” but then usually quickly forget about these clothes.  It’s difficult for thrift stores to find customers for many of these event shirts.  Hopefully, as more people decline these free items that are causing environmental damage, events will start shifting away from these.

–Buy gently-used to keep the cycle going and to reduce the need for new clothing items.  There are SOOOoo many options for buying great gently-used clothing, whether it’s local thrift shops or online.  These are often great deals and unique finds!  (Just be sure your online purchases are staying eco-conscious too, between packaging, transportation, and the notes sellers sometimes like to include.)

Step 2- REUSE
When your time is done with an article of clothing, whether because you’re downsizing or the size doesn’t fit you or it’s worn out, you have a lot of options…

–IF the clothing item is still usable–and remember everyone has different standards on this–consider passing it along for someone else to enjoy.  This would be offering clothes to friends or family, putting it out at a sale, selling online, offering on Freecycle, having a clothing swap, or donating to a cause or thrift shop.

–IF the clothing item is a sentimental item for you, consider upcycling/repurposing it so you can continue enjoying it, instead of stuffing it in a box.  There are GREAT ideas online, and I’ve been collecting some on my Pinterest page.  Some that come to mind at the moment are–turning the item(s) into a pillow, a blanket, wall art, a stuffed animal, a shopping bag, a new/different item of clothing, etc.

–IF the clothing item has a flaw, but may still have life left in it, consider if it can be repaired.  Can you fix the zipper?  Can you naturally dye the stained clothing into a new color?  Can you turn the item into a new/different clothing item?  Can you sew it to fit a different member of the family?  Can you soak it in vinegar if it has developed a smell?  Can you add a new piece of elastic or a new button? etc.

–IF the clothing is no longer in wearable condition and can’t be repaired (excessive staining or tears), consider some of the upcycling/repurposing options mentioned above or others.  My favorite projects for usable pieces are making– fabric gift bags of all sizes, headbands and scrunchies, bean bags, doll clothes, bunting, decorations, and sewing projects with the kids.

–IF the clothing is no longer in wearable condition, etc. also consider salvaging pieces like buttons, zippers, laces, etc.  If you sew, these are great to have around!  If you don’t, you should learn!  ha.  Or offer them up to friends or on Freecycle or put them out in a bundle at a yard sale.  I also love saving and using back pockets from shorts and pants.  They’re already made and great for making seat back storage for cars or fun activities in kid busy books.

–IF the clothing is no longer in wearable condition, etc. and especially if you’ve been crafting/sewing with fabric, save your scraps!  Even if you don’t have scraps, you can make them by cutting your unwearable fabric into small pieces.  (A great project while watching a movie)  Save and use these as stuffing for new projects!

Step 3-RECYCLE
Once all the steps above have been explored…
–There are lots of places to recycle textiles.  Many towns offer large bins which say that they donate or recycle clothing.  My understanding is they use what’s usable and then reuse the rest as textile scraps.  You can search to see if your area has these bins.  I was happily surprised to find these in small towns where I’ve lived, although I have yet to find one in our current area.  I can’t bear to throw away so much fabric, so I’m making everything into my own scraps after I’ve done all I can with them, and I’ll use it as stuffing for animals, pillows, etc.

 

I shudder to think how many textiles are thrown into the trash each year.  I can’t even bear to look at a statistic for this post.  But hopefully, we as a collective are starting to make more conscious choices from the start by reducing, then reusing, and then, when we have to, recycling.  We can and will make a difference!

CLOTHING LIST A-Z

(These posts in progress.  Mostly just links to Pinterest pages about these items.)

Baby and Kid Clothes
Jeans
Shoes and Other Footwear
Socks
T-shirts/Jersey Fabrics
Undergarments

 

Pizza Pasta-Instant Pot

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Pizza Pasta recipe

Well, this was some decadent goodness!  Quite easy and a big hit.

I did not add the sausage this time, because, well, I didn’t.  Also, I’m just realizing I completely forgot the Italian seasonings-oops.  I’m sure that would help bump this recipe up even more.  I was originally going to make our very simple homemade sauce, but we ended up using a jar of pasta sauce that was 18 oz.  So, that’s all I used.  I also think I only added about 20 oz of water.  I will check and update.  Oh, and definitely added more pepperoni.  I chopped the pieces that were being mixed in and left the others whole.  We used our home-grated cheddar from the freezer and a little Romano, instead of mozzarella.

Anyway, very good and very simple.