I know we’ve got a world full of brand-new, “forced” homeschoolers right now. And, I know that everyone’s experience and approach during this time will be so different. There are some parents trying very hard to suddenly balance working from home while figuring out how to educate their kids and trying to stay calm amidst a wide range of uncertain emotions. Some parents might not be working from home right now but are scrambling to figure out how to keep their family afloat. Some parents might be excited at the opportunity to be home with their kids, but don’t know what to do all day.
There are students from preschool through college who are suddenly home-bound and families with very different ideas of what this time of schooling at home should look like. I really don’t want to make any assumptions about anyone else’s experiences right now or philosophies or abilities with this “homeschool” experience. So, this is not a “how to,” because I don’t know you or your family.
But, I would love to share some of my ideas and philosophies, which may or may not resonate for you.
When my husband and I made the decision to homeschool years ago, I thought I would totally rock it. I’ve taught many different ages in different settings, I have a master’s degree in teaching, for Pete’s sake. Teaching my own kids at home? No problem. Right?….Well, it has been a MUCH tougher journey than I anticipated. And, we are only two grades in!
But I like to think I’ve picked up a few things in my short journey so far, and I’d love to share with anyone who is willing to read them. I know that things may shift and change for our family as we go (in fact, that’s one of the biggest things I’ve learned– that things are constantly changing), but here’s what I’ve got so far:
–Home school is NOT school at home. I always believed this, but it’s taken me awhile to really KNOW it. The term “homeschooling” is misleading and strange. It is a completely different approach to learning than school and should not be treated the same. I like to say “home learning,” but perhaps somewhere there is a perfect term for it.
–There doesn’t have to be a strict schedule. Unless we absolutely have to be somewhere, there’s no reason I have to wake my kiddo up before she’s ready. Learning can begin when she is rested and, hopefully, happy.
–Learning doesn’t have to take place at a table and with a pencil in hand, and, in fact, it usually doesn’t. Learning happens when we’re snuggled on the couch together in a discussion, when we’re outside exploring, when she’s taken a flashlight to bed at night so she can read or write in her journal, when we spend the whole day reading together, when we’re at dinner asking big questions. It is always happening, but it’s not happening with worksheets and quizzes and essays. Teachers in schools need those because of the number of students they have and the time constraints they have. At home, we get to watch first-hand what our kid is learning.
–Rhythm and routine are good, but they aren’t everything. I’ve struggled for years to develop a daily rhythm, thinking that it would help provide a stability and grounding to our lives that would help us all. Turns out we have a kid who thrives on newness and mixing things up. She can stand a new routine for about a week, before she wants something new. I think there’s something comforting in a routine for most people, but I’ve decided to stop struggling to make it happen.
–I often feel like what I’m doing is “sneaky homeschooling.” I do a lot of reading and research and planning about what I’d like to cover for a school year. It’s constantly on my mind. And then, I am just present. When a question is presented or a project is happening where there is a learning opportunity, I slip it in. This is not to say that I make play or hanging out all into “lessons.” Fortunately, we have a kid who asks questions, loves stories and explanations, and has a great ability to connect and remember. If she senses I’m trying to squeeze in a lesson, I can tell, because she shuts down. It’s a fine balance, but it’s the best homeschooling tool I know right now.
–Planning is fun, but our days rarely end up the way I planned. I would say a very good portion of the time, our daughter takes whatever idea I’ve had for us and makes it her own. And, in truth, it’s usually better. Homeschool is not about a power struggle or showing who’s in charge (I’m trying my best to remember on many a frustrating morning), it’s about learning together.
–Any topic can be a starting point for almost any subject. I like to start with what our daughter is currently enamored with and use it to my advantage. She LOVES horses right now and is a big fan of a horse YouTube vlogger named Esme. So, we wrote short little bits about Esme’s animals, thinking of an adjective and verb that started with the first letter of each name. “Troublesome Toby trots.” And so on. It was fun and she was completely engaged. She made a book with illustrations, and it just felt like we were playing. And horses can be a gateway to science, history, geography, music, art, math, and so on. Any topic can be. Just takes a little brainstorming and possibly Googling.
–Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. When little brother is knocking books out of our hands or one or all of us is crabby, it’s just time to let go. To go for a drive, run outside, watch a movie, take a nap (Yeah right, I wish!), have a snack, and just take a break. I’m trying my very best to learn that our interactions and moods and sanity are more important than any math lesson or activity.
–PJs are fun, but too many days of PJs can really drag us down. I always hear about public school families enjoying a PJ day at home on a snow day or school holiday, and I kind of miss the fun feeling of that, because pajamas during the day are fun until that’s the norm. I like to get dressed in “real” clothes every morning and wear a pair of “inside” sneakers before we jump in to the day. I always feel better when I do.
–If our kid is resisting learning something, I (try to!) let go and then start exploring it myself. I’m not going to sit down with a journal right in front of her and narrate out loud how much I just LOVE writing. Kids are way too smart for that. But, if a kid doesn’t want to read, make sure they see YOU enjoying reading. Not just reading to them but reading for your own enjoyment. If a kid doesn’t want to learn to read, why don’t you start learning a new language? Let your kid see you struggle to figure out how to read and write a new language, because-HINT-that’s exactly what they are trying to do! If your kid doesn’t want to write, think about how often she sees you writing. Does your kid hear you saying how much you disliked math when you were in school, or does she see you scribbling down and calculating fractions as you try to double a yummy recipe? We all know the best way to get someone to learn is through example, but it’s easy to forget.
–Connection with others can be tough in the homeschool world. Socialization is the cliche complaint or concern about homeschool, and every single homeschool book I’ve read has very big claims about how false this is. True, kids in public school are usually only with kids of the same age group and often have to sit quietly in school. And, yes, homeschoolers often have more opportunity to play with other kids during the day, interact with different ages, and so on. But, it just feels a lot tougher to connect as a homeschooler. At least for us it has. The philosophies and approaches and reasons homeschoolers have for doing what they’re doing are often quite strong. They can be exclusive in their groups or anti-social themselves. It’s interesting that just as I was feeling like a bit of an outsider in the outsider world of homeschooling, the whole world suddenly became homeschoolers too…
So, the best we can all do is our best. Focus on our families and what works for us, while trying to support each other and share inspiration. I got a bit uneasy last week when, after years of being in our isolated homeschool world, suddenly photos of happy, enthusiastic new homeschoolers were flooding the Internet. What did they figure out in a day that I still feel like I’m struggling with? And then, I remembered. Those are just photos. That’s their journey. My job is to focus on ours. And so, we continue on. Doing the best we can and figuring it out as we go.