Lots and lots of kids are spending lots and lots more time at home right now. And without getting into all the emotions and concerns and craziness of the current reality, I know that this kids-at-home thing is a very new thing for a lot of people.
As homeschoolers and living in a new place, our day-to-day is a lot of time at home and together. A LOT. So, there is a little bit of weirdness to suddenly hear people entering what’s been our reality for the last seven years. I wish I could say I was some sort of expert at staying calm and sane and thriving being home all day with kids, but that is, sadly, not the truth. It’s something I feel I am constantly working at.
I do know there are basic things that need to happen for sanity. I don’t always feel like I do them all or do them all well, but I’ll just give my quick list:
–Get outside! Alone and together. Even if it’s standing on a front porch or balcony to take a breath. I always think I need to plan a bunch of “fun” activities for the kids outside. I love collecting ideas and making lists. But the big truth, for us anyway, is that our kids always come up with way better stuff in the moment than I ever could have planned. If we can get past the enormous battle of clothes and socks and shoes to step out the front or back door, then we are in business.
–Eat well. Stress eating is a very real thing, and bad eating can quickly lead to a downward spiraling mood. I know available fresh food is at a premium, but the best choices possible right now will help everybody’s health and emotional well-being.
–Alone time is key. If your kids are anything like mine and will barely let you go to the bathroom alone, then this can be a challenge. Some parents can miraculously wake up a bit before their kids to squeeze in alone time. Our kids wake whenever I do with almost no exceptions. But sneaking away for a shower or a breath outside or a phone call can be sanity savers when they’re possible.
–Together time is also important. Sometimes I feel jealous of parents who work away from home, imagining that they can devote their full attention to their kids when they are together in a way that I just feel I never do. I know that isn’t true, but I do remind myself that I need to just go all in at certain points during the day and really BE THERE. Not doing dishes or trying to get work done or trying to respond to a text or trying to see what’s going on in the world, and just really be present for Legos or dolls or board games or reading or whatever is going on. It’s not only important to have that connectedness, but, for us anyway, it truly shifts the kids’ moods away from tantrums.
–Movement/exercise is also very important. I know with gyms closing their doors this will have a huge impact on many people’s routines. But nobody has banned walks or runs or hikes, as far as I know. Also, simply dancing with your kids or playing tag in the front yard or balloon volleyball in the living room can all be ways to get your heart rate going.
–Limit screen time, but be flexible. I know how tempting it can be, especially if you’re trying to work from home to just use the screens. And, on the one hand, I say, Please, please try to find alternatives. Kids are really good at making their own fun when you give them the chance and the right tools. But, it is also a time to be flexible. Try to pick shows or movies you feel good about and then let go a bit and realize your kids will be ok. Talk about plots and conflicts or movies at dinner time. Ask them what they learned on their favorite vlog. Have them write fan fiction or act out a scene. Too much screen time can be dangerous. But, making it work in a way that you can all feel ok about, isn’t a horrible thing during this time.
The list could probably go on and on as to what “key” things make a sane and happy day. (I haven’t even mentioned “social interaction” (whatever that is right now) and doing “the things that bring you joy” and all those…) But, the good news, in my experience, is that once I start to do even one of these things fairly well, the other areas usually have a way of magically falling into place. Not always, but often enough that I can trust it.