I’ve been thinking a lot about the title of this blog and ways to “keep in the sunlight.”  I’m definitely one of those roller coaster folks with pretty high highs and pretty low lows.  As I’ve gotten older, I’m getting slightly better at navigating this.  At realizing the lows will pass, as will the highs, but recognizing I can enjoy those juicy, wonderful, sparkling moments for what they are.  And I can let myself feel those sad, down feelings, hide under the covers for a bit, whine for a bit, but not let it take me down completely.

That being said, I do like to have a reserve list in my back pocket for those those tough times.  There are certain things that I absolutely know will bring me out of a funk.  My mind likes to make excuses to prevent me from doing them sometimes, which is kind of a bummer.  But, at least I’m starting to realize that my sneaky little sad side is just trying to stick around longer. 

One of the “best” excuses my brain likes to use for avoiding these things is the overwhelmed one.  I may know what will make me feel better, but my little sneaky shadow side likes to tell me I have to do ALL of them to feel better, EVERY DAY, and how could I possibly do that?  So, I don’t do any. 

So, I try to thank my little shadow side for its brilliant trickery and forge on ahead.  And here’s what I’ve realized:  If I do just ONE of these, it’s like this beautiful puzzle that falls almost effortlessly into place.  I start to feel better and happier and healthier, and then all those other things I know will help me, just sort of start happening, and I’m back on track to Happy-ville.

I know it might not be the same for everyone, but I feel so glad to finally see that’s how it (usually) works for me.  That doesn’t mean I’m always good at remembering all this, but, I try.

Anyway, I think it’s important for everyone to have a little back pocket idea list for feeling happy, whether it’s written and posted on a wall, jotted in a journal, or simply a mental list.  And, no, I’m not dismissing those sad or tough times.  I think those are important too.  Definitely.  But, if there’s anyone like me who sometimes gets a bit too sucked into those times, maybe a happy list can help.

 

Everyone’s will look different, of course, but, just for fun, here are some of mine:

Take a walk outside

This might be my top helper.  And one of the ones I find the most excuses for avoiding.  Here’s a post about it, if you’re interested.

Get sleep

Sounds so obvious, and I am not an insomniac.  But I have two very beautiful children who had VERY tough baby/toddler years.  I thought sleep was at a minimum with my first, and then my second made me understand the very dangerous consequences of not sleeping AT ALL.  Sleep deprivation is no joke.  

Journal

For me, writing things out has been a huge part of my journey.  For anyone who wants to journal and doesn’t feel like they know “how,” there are so many beautiful guided journals now.  Also, stream-of-consciousness writing, gratitude lists, or writing letters or poetry can be part of journaling.  A couple of thoughts (that I have to remind myself of…)—Remember, your journal is not your legacy or autobiography; it doesn’t have to be good.  Sometimes I felt like I wrote the same types of entries for years and years.  Same complaints or worries or whatnot.  And then, I’d get frustrated with myself for not moving past these things.  But, sometimes, the only way to move past them is to write about them 500 times.  And then, maybe, on that 501st entry, I’m past it.  But without the previous ones, I might not have been ready.

I never feel the need to stay in the lines or write neatly.  It’s not for re-reading necessarily.  Journals can just be a place to get thoughts and feelings out.

Sometimes getting big feelings out can make me feel everything deeper, instead of releasing everything.  This can be good sometimes.  And sometimes, not.  If I feel that my sadness or anger or whatever it is, is only building with each entry, and not going the direction I’d like, I try shifting to a guided journal or one with quotes on each page.  Or I just consider a different outlet for the time being.

Reading fiction

I love to read and usually have stacks of books from the library at any given time.  I love reading “learning” books (non-fiction) and books for my kids, but I also really need to read fiction for me to stay grounded.  It can be tough to get reading time in sometimes, and that’s the biggest excuse I hear people make when they share that they wish they read more.  But, I don’t know. Somehow, I squeeze books into the day or night.  Just the way some people might squeeze in time for social media or the gym.  It’s just always been a priority for me, and I can tell when I have somehow gotten out of the groove, because it really starts messing with my mood.

Playing piano

I have an interesting relationship with the piano.  I grew up learning, and I enjoy playing when I sit down to play, but I’ve never been drawn to learn and play music the way some people do.  And so, playing the piano is always sort of lower on my “happy list” with a bit of a question mark/parentheses about it.  But, that being said, when I do sit down and finally play piano, I feel amazing, and I always wonder why I hadn’t done so sooner.

Watching TV or a movie

This is a weird one for me to say, because I’m very cautious and limited about screen time in our house.  But, that being said, sometimes my mind gets so full of thoughts and worries and lists.  And that’s when I know that the best thing for me is to actually just sit and watch.  And, sometimes I’ll go several nights in a row watching TV after the kids go to bed.  Then, it’s out of my system and I get back to other things.  But, it has sure saved me a number of times—reminded me to laugh or cry or whatever I’ve needed.

Movement

I love the word “movement” so much more than “exercise” or “working out.”  I’ve never been a gym person or a runner or a sports person.  And I know those things help so many people, and they would probably help me too, if I could make myself do them.  But, I just struggle to have much interest.  So, I’ve found what works for me, because movement is, obviously, such an important part of staying happy and healthy.  For me, it’s dancing.  I wouldn’t call myself a “dancer,” but moving to music heals my soul and brings me so much joy.

 

I know there’s probably more to my “sunshine/happy list” than just these.  Obviously connecting with friends, eating well, playing, laughing, having goals (but not too many goals)–all that jazz.  It all comes down to balance, of course.  But having these ideas to help me during the lows has become such an important part of my emotional well-being.

What helps you when you’re down?

 

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