I love being able to support PBS. And they have such awesome shows offered on their channel. We’ve been loving the Kitchen Vignettes, and my kids regularly opt for this during their TV time. I’d love to try so many of their recipes, but here’s one I tried early on. SO yummy! I used our version of pesto though, since I always have plenty of that on-hand.
Like many, I have fond childhood memories of Valentine’s Day and the exchange of those commercial, store-bought, cartoon cards everybody dropped into decorated paper bags. But as the years have passed, many of these valentines have more and more cheap, plastic add-ons. (I think the most ironic stack of valentine cards I ever saw were ones from the movie, Wall-E.) And the more I think about it, I feel like these store-bought valentines kind of miss the whole point. This article nails it, and estimates school kids in US exchange as many as 750 million. (This is not, by the way, including cards exchanged by teens and adults.) Understandably, schools don’t want kids to feel left out, so will require that everybody gets a valentine card for everybody. I like the thought behind that and I like the exchange of cards…but, like so many of our holiday traditions, much of the meaning has been sucked out and left an empty shell of obligatory tradition.
Also, with the unpredictable numbers of valentine cards “needed” by any one family vs. the numbers sold in packs, people often end up with more than they’re going to use. (Here are some “print as needed” valentine options, because despite my rant, I am a sucker for punny valentine cards…) Perhaps families/friends could also come together and share odds and ends cards to at least eliminate extra waste.
As someone whose love language is words, I do have a weakness for cards and hand-written notes. The thing is though, most of the classroom valentines passed out in schools are purchased by parents and quickly scribbled with a signature. And after the kids go through their stash and pick out the cheap candy, the cards often end up directly in the recycling (or trash). I don’t know what the solution is, but here are some thoughts:
–Or, perhaps, as the linked article above suggests, Valentine’s Day card exchanges should just bypass the Under 12 group.
Traditions are great, and many of us get very caught up in memories of how our own childhoods looked. But, times are changing, and it’s okay to shift to new traditions. Not just okay, it’s necessary. I think it’s wonderful to have a holiday that centers around LOVE, and despite this post, I actually really do love the idea of exchanging cards. But maybe by exchanging of 750 million cards in schools, the meaning has gotten a bit lost…
I take issue with what is probably THE most treasured holiday custom of the year. And I feel awful about that. Because a beautifully decorated Christmas tree does hold magic. BUT….
I just can’t make peace with it. There are numerous articles out there discussing the pros and cons of real vs. artificial trees and which is better, but my choice continues to be -Neither.
In short, artificial trees are made with plastics, sometimes lead. They are usually imported from China, which is a huge environmental footprint if you live elsewhere. They emit toxins while being manufactured and in your home. Even if you do reuse them for many years, their eventual landing space (and, yes, even those artificial leaves shed each year) is a landfill… Nope. Can’t do it.
Real trees, grown locally and –this is the really important part–recycled when they’re done, are supposedly the better of the two choices. But, first off, as a tree lover, I just cannot make peace with cutting down a tree. Ever. Even if it’s grown for the purpose of killing. I can’t do it, the same way vegetarians can’t eat meat. Often times, wildlife do start making homes in these “temporary” trees, so that sucks. And pesticides are often used in the process… So, another ‘No’ from me.
And I totally get that there are bigger, other things with environmental impact. I’m far from perfect, and I know I have many of these things in my life. But, like I said, for some reason the Christmas tree is a sticking point for me. So, this leaves me with “alternative” trees. I’ve pinned a bunch of ideas for these on my Pinterest page. But there are waaaay more than these ones out there. These are just some of my favs. I also really love the idea of potted, tabletop trees that can be planted after the holidays. Living in rentals doesn’t usually allow for this though.
Several years ago, after years of decorating our wall with fabric or ribbon trees, I asked my husband to make a tree from an old pallet. I painted it with some eco-friendly milk paint, which isn’t as bright and vibrant, but gives a bit of a rustic look that I like. Anyway, we hang our lights (that’s a whole other post) and ornaments here. At least once a year I wonder if we should just give in and get a “real” tree. I research it and think about it all over again, and I just can’t bring myself to do it.
Yes, I miss the trees I grew up with during Christmas time, but there’s also something said for new traditions and for the creativity and togetherness involved in making our own kind of tree. Besides, if I could give my kids a truly big gift for Christmas, it would be the chance at a more sustainable world for their future. So, cheeseball as it sounds, there it is. This is the tree that gives me “hope and strength throughout the year.”
I still remember exactly where I was when I knew I wanted to homeschool my future kids. I had just read a book –I can’t remember which one or why I had even picked it up or even if I would still like it today if I re-read it–but after reading it, I absolutely knew in my gut that homeschooling was a path I wanted to explore.
The whole idea had never been on my radar before. Ever. I grew up very content with my public school experience. I knew a couple of homeschool families, but mostly I viewed homeschooling as something very foreign and a little strange. Later in life as a public school teacher, the case against homeschool felt even stronger. A homeschool student entering the classroom felt like a burden, since they weren’t “up to standard” with the rest of the class. I had all the misconceptions most people hold about homeschoolers, even though I found that the ones I knew didn’t seem to fit these labels at all. Now, being a homeschool family, I’m not sure if people still hold these judgements and preconceived ideas and I’m just oblivious, or if homeschooling has actually become more of a mainstream option.
Homeschooling isn’t for everyone, and it definitely is not easy, despite my background in teaching and my fairly “laid-back” approach. Trusting the process is TOUGH. Dealing with your own kids in the learning environment is TOUGH. Not for all homeschoolers, mind you. I know some homeschool families who set up little daily lists and their children, even the young ones, skip off merrily to go complete their work. Ha! Not the case in our home. I’d say it’s taken some very bumpy roads to get where we are now. It’s kind of like parenthood– I haven’t always liked the details of it, it’s driven me bonkers, but I also wouldn’t trade it for anything.
So here are some reasons I love homeschooling for us (and I know these aren’t homeschool-exclusive, but since this is our only experience…) Also, many of the things I love about homeschooling are also many of the challenges–go figure.
–Our kids can go at their own pace. I firmly believe in trusting the process and trusting that kids will be ready when they’re ready. We see examples of it all throughout parenthood, whether it’s when our baby walks or potty trains or learns to ride a bike. You can’t force these things to happen “early” anymore than you can force your kid to grow taller sooner. That said, trusting the process is tough, especially when public-school kids of the same age are on a different timeline.
–Our kids can play! This is one of THE biggest reasons I have for homeschooling. Many families in this country are on an unofficial race to have their kid learn to read, write, and solve math before other kids or at the youngest age possible, as if this is some sort of indication of long-term genius and success. I have a very strong belief that babies and young kids, especially, belong with family, not in daycares or preschools, whenever possible. And, I believe that a young child will learn a lot more about life in the long-run from being allowed to play. I cringe when I hear young children spending their time doing school skills, instead of learning through imagination and getting their hands dirty.
–We can spend more time on subjects. This sounds weird, since it is sometimes such a battle to do even the smallest tasks, but more often than not, our daughter will ask to do more than I have in mind. “Can we do a few more?” “Can we do this a little longer?” I don’t think this happens that much in school settings. Students are often on strict schedules and aren’t given the time and space to explore things further. They also tend to be “trained” into the anticipation of recess and breaks that it doesn’t often occur to them to spend MORE time doing a subject. (At least, this was my experience when I was a classroom teacher.) If there’s an especially strong interest in something, I can center the rest of the day or week around it.
–We can go with the flow of the day. This is a tricky one to find a balance with for me. I love being able to run outside in the morning, if the weather is special, instead of diving right into school. Or being able to drive to the lake or spend time with a visitor. This kind of flexibility definitely depends on a parent and student who are able to make the lessons happen, even if it’s at different times of the day or in different settings. But, wow. Schooling at a park or at the beach or in the car on the way to a museum–these are moments when homeschool really shines.
–We do a lot of learning through discussion. I often wonder if I’m “doing enough” for schooling, and then I have to remind myself of just how much we talk about during the day. I know families who send their kids to school might not think this counts, since I’m sure they talk to their kids too, obviously. But, because we are with the kids all day long, we know exactly what they’ve read and seen and experienced, and we continuously build on that. We reference back to these frequently and we constantly tie conversations into what we’re learning without “forcing” it. This natural flow of discussion and questions feels so much better to me than textbooks.
–I get to tell stories! I love, love storytelling, and it is a huge part of our learning here. I would love to tell more folktales and fairytales, but mostly I tell stories from my past or from books I’ve read or movies I’ve watched. It’s a great opportunity for so many more discussions, and I love that we have the time and space to answer all the questions that arise during the day.
–We get to be flexible with our schedule. This can feel like a negative too, but if we’ve stayed up late, we can all sleep in and get the rest our bodies need. If it’s a bright, beautiful morning and we’re all awake, we can start school then and be done early and have the rest of the day to play and explore. Our kids are seriously cranky when they don’t get the right amount of sleep, so I am very grateful for this flexibility.
–Our kids get to spend their days together. I know sibling squabbles and loving times are part of every family, but I just love that our kids get to spend their days together, instead of being sent to different classrooms. I know as they grow older, this may shift, but I’m so glad for this time they have to play and learn together.
–We have the time and space for “real-life” skills. I didn’t cook a meal or use tools or sew clothes or vacuum the house as young as our kiddos have. Part of it is just the nature of being home all day, and part of it is our schooling, but I love that these skills are built into the day.
I know there are more. Many more. I’m sure I’ll want to edit and add as I think about this, and especially as the years pass and everything shifts yet again. As a former classroom teacher and someone with many wonderful, talented family and friends who are classroom teachers, I absolutely know there are advantages to all different types of schooling. There have certainly been days I’ve seriously questioned homeschool as our choice. And I think that’s important to keep doing from time to time. I’m sure I’ll write a post someday about all the reasons homeschooling seriously sucks too. But, it’s also really helpful for me to remember the reasons we chose this path. Because these WHYs are what keep me going.
Even though I have a background as a public school teacher, I feel like I’m fairly flexible about our homeschool. Some of my top reasons for homeschooling are so the kids have playtime and can learn at their own pace. I know this in my heart. But, sometimes–Ok, often–my head likes to get in the way.
It’s one thing to say that I know (and even love) that our kids are learning on their own time. Schedules and standards and young kids at desks all day make me itchy and uncomfortable. And yet, these “away-school” kids will learn things sooner than my kids. Obviously. Even for those of us who know the whole parenting “race” is ridiculous, it’s hard not to feel the tug.
This is one of the reasons I don’t like using the word “due date” for new babies. A baby’s guess day, as I prefer to call it, is just that. It is perfectly “normal” for a baby to come up to two weeks before or after that estimated day. And yet…somehow parents feel this smugness for an “early” baby or feel behind if their baby is “late.” With the exception of special circumstances, all babies are eventually going to walk and talk and use the potty. And yet…parents panic if their kid is behind other kids or they feel like they’ve got a genius baby if their kid is first. This is one of the reasons we refused to go to a conventional pediatrician for many years. The percentages on growth charts and developmental stages makes me want to gag. I know, I know, there’s a bigger reason for it–for catching special circumstances early, etc. But, mostly it becomes just another comparison game. ugh.
I’m digressing, but I think it’s important to note that trusting in our kids and the process is all-encompassing. Even for those kids who go to a school setting where there are lists of standards and expectations, there are students who will learn certain skills earlier than others. We all have different abilities and interests. Kids in the same grade are different ages and have different support at home. Some students click well with certain teachers and some don’t fit into the school setting at all.
In homeschool, the differences are even bigger. A homeschooler might not read until age 9, but they might be able to have “big, juicy conversations” (as Julie Bogart says) with adults long before that. The Waldorf philosophy is that a child who can’t read yet is much better at observing the world and learning from natural surroundings than one who can read. A homeschool child might not be starting multiplication when their public school friends are, but they might have a very strong understanding of spatial awareness from sewing or of highly advanced problem solving skills from all their extra time building Legos.
All of this sounds well and good, but do I still have a slight panic when my (very understanding) family who are educators sees where we are in our schooling? Yes. Yes, I do. Our daughter spent most of what would be considered her kindergarten year running around with friends and listening to lots and lots of books while I nursed her brother. Meanwhile other kindergarteners were in school several hours a day, learning things like sight words and coding and coming home with homework.
I remember countless times in our kids’ lives when I’ve had a panic that they were never going to pick up on a certain skill. Our first-born loved sitting and listening to books for hours. And then, around age three, she wouldn’t even sit through a page without getting distracted and leaving. Instead of seeing this as a normal phase for a kid her age, I panicked. As a book lover, I was distraught when I began to think maybe this was an indication that she didn’t like books. That stage, of course, was short-lived. Now, she would listen to us read all day long if we could.
My husband, who loves bike riding, had his own “moment” when he thought our daughter would never branch out and try a bike without training wheels. (And, yes, we had tried the Strider method) Now it was my turn to be calm. It’s much easier to trust the process when it’s not something you’re passionate about.
So, the important thing for me to remember is to come back to our reasons for homeschooling. We’re not in this to “be ahead of the curve” or to “keep up” with other kids. We chose this path to be able to spend our lives together. To instill a love for learning, instead of pressuring our kids to meet a standard. We chose this to allow our kids time to be kids, to run around and play and explore. We’re very, very lucky that we have two healthy, active, strong, and smart kids. They are on their own timing for learning. All my husband and I have to do (other than, you know, be there and homeschool them) is step back and trust.