“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”
Is it a Chinese proverb? Or as USPS claims, Maya Angelou? Don’t know. Don’t really care. I love this quote. It holds that ‘Gotta Sing, Gotta Dance’ at its heart, and I think I need to turn to it more often.
I’ve got a lot to say. The flood of ideas I have to filter every day gets overwhelming. And yet, as I type this and other entries, I feel a bit of an empty echo bouncing back to me. (Granted, I have chosen to turn off comments, but that’s another post.) I’m a paranoid Internet person, to be honest, but I have realized that being on the Internet is a bit like walking down a sidewalk, an ENORMOUS sidewalk, that includes just about everyone from the entire world. Some will get noticed, some will get teased. Some will fall prey to scammers, some will find their small, happy groups. I am at once eager to write and share, (it’s in my heart and on my mind, and keeping it in starts to weigh on me greatly) while also feeling extremely shy about being ‘seen’ and read. And some might say this is somehow energetically keeping me hidden. Maybe.
I was always one to sort of float off to the side of the action. In high school, I was neither popular nor teased. I liked being mostly invisible. At social gatherings, I’d always be the one off in the corner on my own or talking to a random wanderer who ended up near me. I am the person who prefers small groups that include supportive, awesome people I love. I’ve never sought fame or a huge number of followers. But as I continue my blogging and other online journeys, I do have moments when I think, “Hey! I’ve got something to say too!” I’ve read some of the popular, star bloggers out there. Some are great, and some are, well, not. Eh, that’s life. I love good stories of people getting lots of rejection letters before they’re finally published or noticed. These are uplifting stories once the happy ending has happened, and I always thought if I had the guts to write a book, I’d have my own story of how I held out hope even as the rejections poured in. But, I can see how tough that must be. Here I am, blogging, mainly for my own need, really. And still, I secretly want to be read and noticed. That’s not so crazy, right?
But, somewhere between getting caught up in trying to remain hidden or trying to demand some attention, all I know is, I gotta write.
So, no, I don’t have an answer. I don’t even know my question. But, boy, do I have a lot of songs.